Radio question of the day:
95 % of women polled said, when considering a man to date, they would put up with most all the negative qualities a man might have (with exception of bad breath or body order) if the man had this one positive trait.
I'm tryin' to talk myself into getting up from this PC and putting up the Christmas tree. I have a "permanent tree." Not artificial mind you, it's a permanent tree. It's a nice one. They don't call the nice ones, artificial.
I have a love-hate relationship to Christmas trees. I do love them. Love Christmas decorations in general. But I have had some unpleasant Christmas trees.
One year I bought a pre-cut tree at a Christmas tree lot. This tree actually spit needles at me when I walked near it. You could hear the damn thing dropping needles from the next room. I was still vacuuming up those $%L# needles in the spring. It musta been cut in October and sittin' somewhere a long time before Christmas.
Another year I bought a very beautiful, very expensive, flocked "permanent tree." By the time I had assembled that tree I had flocking so far up my nose I couldn't breathe. Flocking was everywhere. In my hair, under my nails, all over my body, all over the living room, in my eyes. That flockin' tree. By the time I had the lights on it, my lungs were stopped up. Didn't put anything else on it. Didn't want lung cancer. I put it out to the curb two days after Christmas. Of course that tree brought on a flurry of vacuuming. Damn flockin' tree.
We've cut trees with the kids, bought trees off of lots, you name it, we've tried it. To know me is to know that I have no tolerance for mess. No kinda mess anywhere. But I do love a Christmas tree. So, I have a problem.
Niks and I used to have arguments every time we put up a live tree. Tryin' to get it straight, etc. So one year I hired a nursery to cut a tree, deliver it and set it up. Looked great. Niks came home from work and was shocked. "Why did you do that?" he asked.
"Because," I said, "every year we're ready to get divorced after we mess around with the tree."
"What are you talking about?" he said! "We don't fight about the tree!"
Apparently we live in two separate houses. I always had fights with the guy that was living here with me. That Niks. Living with some other babe at Christmas. That takes nerve.
Answer to the question of the day:
If the man was a very good dancer. Take a lesson.