Thursday, December 22, 2005
Nobody knows the truffles I've seen
On Tuesday when I took Peggy for her chemo treatment, I had time to kill. So I went to Chocolate World. Hershey PA truly is a sweet town! I love chocolate, but I didn't buy any for myself. My daughters of course know that they give you chocolate when you take the tour ride which explains how the cacao beans are harvested and become the chocolate that we eat and drink. (They also take a photo of you on the ride. That's me up there. I need color, don'tcha think?)
So, I did eat that little bit of chocolate that they force on you. But all the chocolate that I bought there is for other people. Of course, once you've had Schwartz' chocolate, you don't lust after Hershey chocolate so much anyway.
Most women love chocolate. So if you need to buy one last gift for a woman somewhere, my advice is to make it chocolate.
I shamelessly stole these chocolate rules from this Author Unknown guy. Some name, huh?
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
Clearly, chocolate is a vegetable. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. A bean is a vegetable. Wait! There's more! Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. QED: chocolate is a vegetable.
Chocolate-covered raisins, -cherries, -orange slices and -strawberries all count as fruit. Eat as many as you want. Fruits are an important part of the Food Pyramid.
Hot tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. I've tested this. It's true.
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, chocolate is therapeutic.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
I would like to add my own rules and observations to the above "rules."
Chocolate eaten while standing over the kitchen sink, doesn't count as calories.
Chocolate eaten between midnight at 4 AM has no calories.
Flowers wilt, jewelry tarnishes, and candles burn out ...BUT CHOCOLATE DOESN'T HANG AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO GET OLD. Still, a general rule of thumb is that most any food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. (Keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this.)
When in doubt, and it's chocolate, go ahead and eat it.