Friday, December 30, 2005
It's that time
This is the time when a lot of people make New Year's Resolutions. I dunno why. Mostly we just break them right away. Besides, I think the number one resolution made in the U.S. is to lose weight. But as Jay Leno says: "Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution." So. There ya go.
'Course, I always resolve to save the world from destruction before breakfast. I've done that a couple of times. Resolved it. Not saved it.
I think we should make resolutions for OTHER people to keep. Like for my adopted son, Doug of Waking Ambrose, I resolve that he will start a list of four to six-syllable nerbs, just in case someone ever needs one.
For my daughter Acton Bell, I resolve that she take a cruise on a floating micro-brewery with a book group that discusses Bronte novels exclusively.
For my daughter Aral of AP3, I resolve that she form an ice hockey league for vegetarian Hindu priests who read religious books in the penalty box.
For my daughter 3D, I resolve that she install a kitchen in her van so that she can make band fudge while holding Girl Scout meetings in the car and driving the cats to the vet.
Let's throw in an infamous person: for Donald Trump: To buy new hair.
Okay, your turn. Write a resolution for somebody ELSE. Famous, infamous, or whatever.