Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Nothin' to say

Remember the A-ha song, Take on Me, with lyrics that went

"Talking away
I don't know what I'm to say
I'll say it anyway"

That's me today. I have nothing to say, and yet I have this irrepressible urge to say it anyway.

In case you missed it, here are the 2004 winners of the Washington Post's contest that asks readers to supply alternate meanings for various words.

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

14. Pokemon (n), a Jamaican proctologist.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n), the belief that when you die your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. Posted by Hello


Lorraine said...

Those are very funny, Lucy. That is the name I call you, right? Oy veh (I like the oysters reference)

And being kind of a raunchy old bag, I'd say my first favorite would be "willy-nilly" -- dealt with a few of them now and then, fer shur. And Frizbeetarianism is just the cutest darn thing, too.

Hey, Young Lady, thank you for stopping in at my little blogpage today....appreciate it. Then, of course, I am always curious as to how you found me out of the billions of bloggers floating around these days...Good job! Hah.

When you have some time, you might like my original website, The Mousetrap. (there's a banner called Home Sweet Home in my sidebar on the blogpage)

I'm kind of dedicating the splash page to Smurfy McStupid, so-called preznut. Anyway, I like how you think. I will be back. That's not a promise, that's a threat. haha

dddragon said...

I'm amazed how we all find each other. When I use the "next blog" button I usually get blogs that are really ads for insurance or cars.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Quite comic, Pez. I see two references to proctologist. Well, I guess somebody has to bring up the rear.

mireille said...

You do too have something to say. AND IT'S FUNNY!!


Jamie Dawn said...

Funny stuff, TLP!!!
Thanks for a good chuckle.

actonbell said...

Good stuff! Thanks:)

GodlessMom said...

How funny!

WordWhiz said...

I have had that nothing to say/gotta say something feeling! You said funny stuff! I usually just blather!

Tom & Icy said...

The Devil sends his blessings

AP3 said...

I'm definitely flabbergasted!

jevanking™ said...

Man I'm so flabbergasted right now. Thank god I'm not willy-nilly or I'd be in some real trouble. When I go to the Pokemon next week, I better make sure my circumvent isn't open.

That makes absolutely no sense.

Nigel Patel said...

I'm really glad I read this.

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