Monday, November 21, 2005

Over the hills and through the woods

Over the hills and through the woods to AP3's house we go. Husband Niks and I are off to spend a week in MA with our daughter and her spouse and step-daughter. It's gonna be fun. We always have fun there. They have two cats and a dog. Plus they're all nice folks. Fun folks. We get to laugh a lot. It's a big house, so everybody can have all the space they want.

I will comment on a blog here and there, but I doubt that I will post. So I'll leave you with this Thanksgiving Notice that I received from my friend Sally:
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For those of you who are coming to our place for Thanksgiving dinner- Martha Stewart ain't gonna be here! I'm telling you in advance, so don't act all surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes: Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect. That Sally.

Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I've gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea. Those kids. The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas. (I've seen that Peter Rabbit plate. Not a collector's version.)

Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey. Probably little Tommy. We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hot line. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 A. M. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds. Sally's not the happy cooker. (Closer to a happy hooker back in the day).

As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying. Those guys! We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. (Next door most likely).

Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that "passing the rolls" is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean your sister in the head with warm tasty bread. Oh, and one reminder for the adults: For the duration of the meal, and especially while in the presence of young diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its lesser-known name: Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or type of Cheese Sauce, plead ignorance. Cheese Sauce reigns. Cheese sauce stains too.

Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice; take it or leave it. Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this year. She probably won't come next year either. I am thankful.

That Sally. More honest than most.

26 comments:

Doug said...

Have fun at Aral's. Save me some taters and gravy.

Libby said...

lucy...
eat up!! and request extra cool-whip!!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Minka said...

Have fun at AP3´s. And tell us about it later.
I never had pumpkin pie :(
I might still...

Fred said...

Have a great trip at Aral's. I'm sure there will be some great stories to tell. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

weirsdo said...

Happy Thanksgiving!
LOL on the description. Reminds me of when I accidentally locked us out of the oven a few minutes before the turkey was supposed to be inserted. . . .

The Lazy Iguana said...

Happy Thanksgiving.

By the way, screw tradition. Key Lime Pie remains my choice dessert.

Jamie Dawn said...

Enjoy your week with Aral and family.
Happy Thanksgiving! Eat a lot and count your many blessings.

kenju said...

Frozen turkeys in the clothesdryer? Funny!

Sar said...

Safe travels and may you all enjoy a Happy Thankgsgiving at Aral's that provides satisfying fodder for the bellies and the blogs! :)

Peter said...

Hope you have a good visit Lucy, Who needs Martha Stewart?

lime said...

sally tules. i like that gal. safe travels and happy thanksgiving, lucy:)

Lucy said...

Funny. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. I'm enjoying my daily blog visits.

AP3 said...

HA! Don't worry, readers -- I'll make TLP post!

KristieD said...

Have a great turkey day! Very fun reading by the way. :)

Klondike Kate said...

Loved the post! You seem to have a great family - have a wonderful holiday together!

mireille said...

Between wheezes, I read this to Jim who seems to find some similarities between me and Sally. Huh. Especially like the flaming lunch sacks. So festive. xoxo oh, and Happy Thanksgiving to you, Niks and AP3 and family! But we know we'll see you posting, probably between bites.

dddragon said...

Iguana: I LOVE key lime pie!!

My mom makes THE BEST cornbread stuffing in the whole, wide world. Got my Culinary Institue of American BIL to start making it. HA!

I miss my mama's turkey dinners.

*sniff*

actonbell said...

Happy trails, and happy Thanksgiving! I'm sure y'all will have a great time:)
Flaming lunch sacks! Yes, I see them on xmas morning when I'm out on my run--or the remains of them. NOT pretty.

Bela said...

I'm on the floor - in stitches!

Have a lovely holiday! And Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! :-)

Monique said...

LOL, this is great! Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Shirazi said...

Have a wonderful reunion and thanksgiving.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

There I was, being pleasantly amused, and you dropped this belly-laugher on me: "...frozen turkey in a clothes dryer..." How great an idea is that? Huh? I ask you.

Hoss will be posting again starting Thursday. Ta.

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Hope you and all the Pezs have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Amber said...

Happy T-Day! And tell Sally this was very very funny. And apt! :-)

Minka said...

Happy Thanksgiving TLP and Niks!

David said...

Mom?

If you are not my mom, then has she been talking to you??

Great Posting...Have a fantastic Thanksgiving.