Sunday, November 06, 2005

More stupid stuff I stole from somewhere or other

Your computer life:
· Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
· Hardware: the parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
· Software: the parts of a computer system that don't work.
· Hard disk: the part of a computer system that freezes up at the worst possible time.
· Peripherals: the parts that are incompatible with your PC system.
· Printer: the part of the computer system that jams when you're not looking.
· Cable: the part of the computer system that is too short.
· Mouse: see cursing.
· Backup: an operation that is never performed on time.
· Restore: a procedure that works perfectly until needed.
· Memory: the part of a computer system that is insufficient.
· Error message: a request to OK the destruction of your own data.
· File: the part of the computer system that cannot be located.
· Processor: the part of a computer system that is obsolete.
· Manual: the element of your computer system that is incomprehensible.
· Typos are not noticed until after the "send" key has been hit.

The rest of your life:

· No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
· What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.
· Nothing is impossible for the one who doesn't have to do it himself.
· If you keep anything long enough, you can throw it away.
· If you throw anything away, you will need it as soon as the trash is collected.
· If you file it, you will know where it is, but you will never need it.
· If you don't file it, you'll need it, but you will never know where it is.
· The quickest way to find something is to be looking for something else.
· There's no time like the present for postponing what you don't want to do.


Jamie Dawn said...

The typos thing really irks me! It is sooo true.
Your stolen stuff is darn good. Keep on stealing!

weirsdo said...

Lots of elaboration on Murphy's Law here.
Here's my friend's three tips for coping with life: 1. Never play pool at a place called "Pop's." 2. Never eat at a place called "Mom's." and 3. Never sleep with someone who has more problems than you do.

AP3 said...

Life is hard, yo. Can't live with it, can't live without it?

Fred said...

How about, "I finally got my sh*t together but I forgot where I left it."

Great list. You know how I feel about typos - they drive me nuts. I especially hate when I find one after 20 people have read the post. Argggg!

Have a great week, TLP.

Tom & Icy said...

This stuff is good. You must have been looking for something else when you found it. But I'm glad. Thanks.

Libby said...

ok...this is what my house is "a place for everything, and something else is usually in it..."...wait...that's my LIFE too!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Leigh said...

What sage words of truth!

schnoodlepooh said...

Those are very true words. I know exactly what you mean!

Peter said...

Ya nailed it again Lucy.

I.M. Dedd said...

o.k. I found you via the comment you left on tiny voices that mentioned me.

I think I got that right.

This site is great. I put you in the DG blogroll.

Doug said...

Not surprising that there are more rules for living on-line than in the flesh. That's about right.

Dead Guy, you're getting out a lot these days. Nice to see you around. Weirsdo, your standards seem pretty high to me.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Typos are the worst. I truly do see them as they flash by on their way to being published.

I can't live up to high standards. Not that kinda girl.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Many's the time I been victimized by the "send" rule, Gloria. I mean, Sylvia...

Bela said...

My head's spinning. So true. So hilarious.:-)