Thursday, November 17, 2005

Headliners

These are some real headlines that appeared in newspapers. Pretty amazing.


Crack Found on Governor's Daughter.
Imagine that!

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says.
No! Really?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers.
Those cops! Harsh!

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Not touchin' that.

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over.
That vet! What a guy.

Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Huh! Some lazy so-and-so's.

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant.
Ouch. Might work better than a fair trial. Or not.

War Dims Hope for Peace.
I can see where it might have that effect.

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile.
Duh.

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures. Amazing.
Whodathunkit?

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide.
Those cops. Smart.

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges!
Apparently there is something stronger than duct tape.

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge.
You think maybe he is a battery charge now?

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
Those fatties. Not fat enough I guess.

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft.
Don't let him eat any more beans.

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks.
Taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.
Chainsaw Massacre I guess.

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors.
Hoo Boy! Tall guys.

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead.
You can kill'em twice?

15 comments:

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I love Stranger Than Fiction.

Doug said...

Ah...hahaha. That was a good laugh and a bunch of chuckles. God bless the fourth estate and Scotland Yard.

AP3 said...

Pretty amazing that people who get paid to write and edit, full time, didn't catch those!

Bela said...

Thanks for the laughs - again! The things people write when they're not paying attention!

Lucy said...

Funny! OK - TLP are you really Jay Leno in disguise? Come on..you can tell us.

Jamie Dawn said...

My anus is none of your business!!!
I used to have four kids, but now I only have two. They DO make delicious, nutritious snacks!

Peter said...

Sure hope that red tape IS stronger than duct tape Lucy.
Where do I apply for that obesity study, do ya get fries with that?
I won't go on but there is a good line in every one of them.

Ivy the Goober said...

Good stuff! Very funny :)

lime said...

what a riot!

KristieD said...

OMG. thank you so much for that! roflmao

Savtadotty said...

Very entertaining. Much better than TV (now that I've cancelled cable in favor of blogs).

Leigh said...

I amazed what the media will do to get eye-catching headlines. I wonder if they think the general public is comprised of idiots. (They maybe right! lol)

Leigh said...

I amazed what the media will do to get eye-catching headlines. I wonder if they think the general public is comprised of idiots. (They maybe right! lol)

Tom & Icy said...

You seem to come up with the funniest and cleverest ideas for posting. We never know what to expect except the laugh.

Fred said...

Love the chainsaw massacre comment. You should be one of those reporters that seeks out the funny side of life. I'd watch!