These are some real headlines that appeared in newspapers. Pretty amazing.
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says.
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers.
Those cops! Harsh!
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Not touchin' that.
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over.
That vet! What a guy.
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Huh! Some lazy so-and-so's.
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant.
Ouch. Might work better than a fair trial. Or not.
War Dims Hope for Peace.
I can see where it might have that effect.
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile.
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures. Amazing.
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide.
Those cops. Smart.
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges!
Apparently there is something stronger than duct tape.
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge.
You think maybe he is a battery charge now?
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
Those fatties. Not fat enough I guess.
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft.
Don't let him eat any more beans.
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks.
Taste like chicken?
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.
Chainsaw Massacre I guess.
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors.
Hoo Boy! Tall guys.
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead.
You can kill'em twice?