Anybody out there listen to country music? I caught the top 20 songs this morning on the radio. Here they are:
1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long. Sounds true enough. Don't like those brown stains myself.
2. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You. Maybe this is a touch childish behavior. Dunno.
3. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me. Well, duh. Anytime the phone don't ring, it's probably me not calling.
4. How Can I Say I Miss You When I Cain't GetchaTa Leave? Definitely true.
5. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well. I feel your pain.
6. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better. Oldie but a goodie.
7. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win. S'pose it would suit you better if she lost?
8. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight. Don't believe him!
9. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here.
10. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now. There's a lesson here.
11. I Thought I Had Tourette's, But I Just Like Talkin' Dirty To You. Me 'n everybody else.
12. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger. S**t happens.
13. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly. Rude. Just rude.
14. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure.
15. She's Looking Better After Every Beer. Another DUH!
16. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman, but I've Sure Woke Up With A Few. Honey, the woman on the other side of the bed feels the same way.
17. My sweetie said he needed more space, so I locked him outside. Smooth move.
18. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Another oldie.
19. In the book of life, the answers ain't in the back.
20. How Come I Feel like the Mornin' After When I Wasn't Nowhere the Night Before? Walking in your sleep?
And a runner up was: Tearstains on My Pillow Are the Only Wet Spots in My Bed.
Now, I'm not going to post that last one 'cause it's kinda not so PG13, maybe. On the other hand, who the heck is still reading this thing? So, guess I'll just be lazy and not bother erasing it.