Friday, September 09, 2005

Sing along

On my perfectly beautiful, obligation-free day today I drove to Hershey to the outlet stores there. The stores are right in sight of the theme park, called amazingly enough, Hershey Park. It's a regular amusement park with all kinds of roller coasters and water rides and like that. It's in the middle of a gorgeous countryside. And the town of Hershey is itself a lovely place. I drive a Honda Civic Hybrid so I have no guilt about using the gas.

Well, of course, I'd have no guilt anyway. After all I don't leave the water running while I brush my teeth, so I've earned ecology-brownie points that way. I turn out lights too. So I'm going to heaven-for-ecology-people in case there is one. There's probably not one, but I'm just sayin'. If there is one. In case. Just to be double sure, I recycle regularly too. To be sure of going to heaven-for-ecology-people that is. Our daughter AP3 is a recycling Nazi, so I'm puttin' that in so she will be nice to me when I'm old and stuff.

On the drive out, which takes about 20 or 25 minutes I guess, I had an earworm going on in my head: Alice's Restaurant. You know, "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant. You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant. Just walk right in, it's around the back, just a half-mile from the railroad track. You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

It's sung by Arlo Guthrie on the recordings and by coincidence, he sings it in my head too. Convenient. He composed it too. So as any fool can see, it all just works out perfectly. I sees.

Because of this song-going-on-in-my-head thing, the first thing I did when I got to the outlet stores was to go to a music store called, “Music 4 Less.” See how clever they are? They save two spaces by using the number 4 instead of writing out the word "for." That's so smart, don'tcha think? Those guys. So smart.

I bought Arlo's CD of Alice's Restaurant of course, and then picked up The Very Best of Fleetwood Mac, The Best of the Moody Blues, and Janis Joplin's Greatest Hits. Don't worry, I didn't just pick'em up. I actually paid for them. Please notice that I got the very best, the best, and the greatest, so you know I have taste. Then I bought Casey Kasem's America's Hits: The Folk Years, just so's you don't think I'm too hi-fi-lootin'. What with buyin' all the best and all.
It's got stuff like "Green Tambourine" by The Lemon Pipers and "I Dig Rock and Roll Music" by Peter, Paul and Mary. Like that.

I originally decided to go to Hershey to see a store called Christmas Tree Hill. Some people (okay, women-people) were talking about that store at a Labor Day party we went to and I had never heard of it. Sounded interesting. I'm a shopping junky. Sometimes.

I was apparently in a spending mood. How unusual. I mean without a daughter or granddaughter along to buy for. I like to buy for other folks. Then you don't have to find room for it in your own closet or on your own shelves. Now there is absolutely nothing in Christmas Tree Hill that a person needs. So I spent only about a hundred dollars there. They have no idea what they missed.

But I want credit for all the stores I passed up too. I didn't go into "Big Dog Sportswear", skipped "Vitamin World", and snubbed "Black and Decker Tools." There are supposedly 55 stores there, so I must have gone into 52 of them. Didn't seem like that many to me. Musta missed some others.

I walked right by the "Bible Factory Outlet." Then turned around and walked back and went in. Good thing I did. Did you know that October 9 is "Clergy Appreciation Day?" Well, it is. See? If I hadn't gone into that store, you'd be in the dark about that.

They carry a hardback journal called, "Presidential Prayer Team." It's not a big seller I guess, 'cause it was marked down to just one dollar and they had lots of them left. Imagine. Just a dollar. Can't get much for one dollar these days. This journal has a place for you to write in the names of the Cabinet members and other Important Folks. Every day you think about these big important people, and you pray for them. Especially the Great Leader and President.

They have tee shirts and signs that look like the old Coca-Cola signs in red and white, but they have Jesus Christ written on them instead of Coca-Cola, and then "Eternally Refreshing. John 4:14." Cute.

Lots of other books in there too. Then when I saw one titled, "The Gay Agenda," I figured I'd had enough of this particular store and I started out the door. But the guy at the counter just had to ask me if I'd found what I was looking for. Mr. Too-Dumb-to-Breathe is what I'd call a guy who messes with me when I'm pissed off. Guess the look on my face wasn't as mean as I was feelin'. I will spare you the details, but I told him off about carrying that book. They probably don't get a whole lot of excitement in that store. I might have to go back. Help'em out in that regard. I'm all heart sometimes. They're probably still praying for me in there.

That put a little cloud over my shopping fun, but I went bravely on and into a men's store and found some shirts for my husband that he doesn't need, and then on to other stores and found some clothes I don't need for myself. I heard that the economy might be in trouble what with Katrina and all, and I want to help.

On the way home I popped "Alice's Restaurant" into the CD player and got all in a good mood again.

You sing along this time. With feeling."You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant. You can get anything you want (exceptin' Alice) at Alice's Restaurant. Just walk right in, it's around the back, just a half-mile from the railroad track. You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."

That was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff, you have to sing LOUD

Okay, when it comes around again on the git-tar, try again. Only this time Loud, and in Four-Part Harmony and with Feelin'. That's what we're waiting on now, for it to come around again. Okay, here it comes....

28 comments:

dddragon said...

Thanks for the inspiration on what to get with my birthday gift certificates that Actonbell & AP3 gave me! Rumors and The Best of the Moody Blues, to start with.

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Oh! I LOVE Hersey, Penn!!!!

Now, with a little music, sounds like the perfect gift.

Tom & Icy said...

When we were younger, my wife and I used to go into those stores and get a shopping cart and fill it with everything we had an impulse to buy until it would hold no more. Then when we got to the checkout lane, we made a u-turn and put everything back on the shelves where we got them and leave the store with nothing, but it felt like we shopped.

Libby said...

oh, tlp, THAT'S what i must've heard yesterday! after all, i'm only over here in central ohio...you have a beautiful voice, by the way!!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Bela said...

I have this nifty little MP3 player (not an iPod, me not like Apple) full of great music, BUT I've been working non-stop for weeks and weeks and music is the only thing I can't listen to when I work. I can watch TV, listen to speech on the radio, surf the Net, read the papers, knit and work- all at the same time, but music, no! :-(

mireille said...

I'm SINGING, I'm SINGING! xoxo

kenju said...

I'll not be appreciating MY clergy very much; it was just announced that he has been having an affair with the lead singer in the music group at the church. But I am glad to know what day not to appreciate him!

kenju said...

Thanks Tan Lucy! I have been asking myself that about yours too. I had been seeing your name over at Hoss's for months - guess I'm just slooooooow, sometimes!

Pirate said...

Your post was almost as long as Alice's Restaurant.

Doug said...

OK, but how do you know The Gay Agenda wasn't pro-equality? I mean if you didn't open it and all.

You kin git anythin' you want....

Jamie Dawn said...

My mom visited Hershey while on business (she sells almonds) and she bought me a beautiful crystal candy dish shaped like a Hershey's Kiss. I LOVE it.
Here's something you'll love and you can buy these products at Christian book stores: Veggie Tales movies, music, and t-shirts. They are grrreat!

I like Kenju's comment about Clergy UN-appreciation Day. Very funny.

The Lazy Iguana said...

I would have had a powerful impulse to streak the bible outlet, wearlig a GW Bush mask.

still life said...

You are going to be one singing lady! When you get to Fleetwood Mac, Landslide, you better sing loud and clear because that is one of my favorite songs.

Amber said...

Okay, you may have just become my favorite blogger ever. I laughed so loudly while reading my husband had to ask me if I was okay because I'd disturbed his video game playing.

Which is, ya know... a BIG DEAL.

Well...around here it is.

AHAHAHA! Thanks! I needed reading this... :-)

Fred said...

I LOVE the Moody Blues.

You sound just like The Missus when it comes to shopping. She's always buying me things I don't need. If not for her, though, I'd be wearing the same pair of pants all week.

From all us guys out here, thanks for the things we don't need, but like so much.

Minka said...

Hey, sorry I did not sing along but I don´t know the song...
In regards to shopping: Yesterday i met a couple of girls(all of them have kids) and they talked about going shopping in the Mall of America. When they saw my balnk expression they exlained: It is a dream of every mother here in Iceland to go to America once and shop In the Mall of America.
I had never heard of it before, and they said that is beccause I don´t have children.
Does every American know about this mall and where the bl**** h*** is it?

Doug said...

Monika, I really want to know what's behind those asterisks. It's in Minnesota, but it never occured to me to go there. That story is hilarious to me.

schnoodlepooh said...

What a fun shopping day you had. I'm glad to hear that you are a "tree hugger" with your hybrid car, turning off the lights, and not letting the water run when you brush your teeth! This world is a better place because of YOU! You do make a difference. I personally thank you for your contribition.

dddragon said...

Ah, Monika, TLP has been to the Mall of America. She called from there to Pennsylvania to tell me that she wants to go back with my daughters some day. She was with dad and somehow it wasn't as fun.

Saur♥Kraut said...

hey there. I love Fleetwood Mac too! I went to their concert last year (and took my gay, deaf friend who loves to feel the music through her feet). I mention the 'gay' part due to your mention of the book 'The Gay Agenda'. I see it slightly different than you do. It's not a question of 'religious tolerance' or intolerance, because when it comes to religions there are all sorts of interpretations and there are some faiths that are anti-gay because of what it says in their scriptures or statements of faith. So, the alternative for gays is other faiths that are tolerant (such as Unitarian Universalists, buddhists, etc.)

Canadian Dude said...

I'd sing, but I can't carry a tune in a bucket.

GodlessMom said...

TLP, you always make me smile!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

To those of you who tried to sing. Thanks. Sad, but thanks.

TO those of you who didn't try, well...next time TRY.

Hale McKay said...

..Tuesday Afternoon .. you song-in-the-head-planter you!

surly girl said...

i'm singing...i love Alice's Restaurant.......and the Motorcycle Song....but the one i love the best is the one about the train - "City of New Orleans"...

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