Catalog number please

Owen married a beauty queen I'll call Lola Bell, both to protect her and because she's a southern belle. Besides, I like the sound of it. I'll just shorten that to Belle. Just 'cause.

Belle and Owen were students at a small college where Owen's dad had been the president until his untimely demise. He was highly regarded by all. The dad that is. Not Owen. Owen was kicked out of school there. Probably it took a long time to decide to kick him out because of the family name and all. Owen was given to drinkin' and gamblin'. Like that. His womanizing was okay because he was single.

Anyway, Owen was attracted to Belle's beauty and she was attracted to what she perceived as his potential. And to give the devil his due, he was tall and handsome. Owen went north and finished college and they got married. It was not a marriage made in heaven. Beauty fades and potential is not always realized. But they stayed married and had four children.

I'm not going to tell you the worst thing Owen ever did, which in my opinion was the night that their fourth child was born. That night Owen was staying with Belle's family in their huge house. He got out of his own bed, went into Belle's older sister's room, and got into her bed. Boys will be boys.

In case you're thinking that this is just the sister's story, it is not. Owen told Niks and me this himself. The sister got out of the bed and told him he was welcome to the BED, but she was not going to be in it. She went to another room. Probably locked the door. Either Owen didn't try that door, or he left that out of the story.

Good sister doesn't have the heart to tell Belle, which I think is natural and kind. The woman was in the hospital with her fourth baby for gosh sakes.

I'm not going to tell this part because I'm not so sure we have ever told our daughters about it. So, nobody tell it. Okay?

Okay. No need to go into any more stuff on both sides of this marriage.
I talk too darn much. Fast forward.

Owen has for many years been plotting leaving Belle. But then she has cancer and a mastectomy and he says he's leaving her. Now. Period. Niks and I say, "NO! You cannot do that NOW." Of course he does leave. Many things come out during the divorce hearing. Many ugly things about Owen and other women. The four grown children are in court and hear these things. Owen is literally so embarrassed that he leaves the court room. That guy. So sensitive... Remember, we get our information from Owen himself, so it could be worse. Probably was worse.

Couple of years later, his four children are not speaking to him. So he does what any man would do. Decides to have more children.

Enter catalog. Yep. Mail order bride from the Philippines.

I'll call her Sweetie, to protect the innocent and because she's sweet. Sweetie has given Owen three more children. All beautiful. None of this is her fault. I'm nice to her and her kids. Owen has noticed the difference in how I act when she's down here with him.

Sweetie is younger than his first four children, and my oldest child. Owen has grandchildren older than his second family of children.

I should just get over it, and if he weren't sitting in my kitchen right now talking on and on about this woman or that woman who had the nerve to get old, or get fat, or get wrinkles, and so on, maybe I could get over it.

Owen is 19 years older than I am. When I was young he actually made passes at me, which was disgusting. But now I'd be too old for him. Safe at last.

I'm wondering: did I ever mention that I don't like Owen? I don't want to go on and on about it.

So, if I've said before that I don't like him. Stop me. And I'll quit.