Friday, July 15, 2005
Once when Mama was visiting us here in Pennsylvania, I took her to the Amish Country, which she liked a lot.
At lunch time I decided to take her to a restaurant called Zinn's Diner. Zinn's was a great Pennsylvania Dutch place. It had a huge 40-foot statue of an Amish farmer, called Amos, in front of it. Amos had a small repertoire of things that he spoke to folks as they entered or exited the diner. He told bad Amish jokes in a corny Pennsylvania Dutch accent. Amos said things like "Yumpin' yiminy, by gosh, if you're hungering for great Amish food, we've got heaps inside..."
Mama had a soft spot in her heart for stuff like that, and she was properly impressed by Amos. This place was so popular that people waited for as long as an hour for their number to be called so they could go into the feed trough.
Our number was finally called while I was still young, and we sat down at our table.
Mama decided that the food didn't suit her much. They had everything from shoo-fly pie, chicken-smothered waffles, apple fritters, dried corn, to fried scrapple and beef heart. What more could a person want? Mama didn't care for shooin' flies. There was nothing on the really extensive menu that she wanted to eat. Except a meringue pie. That Mama. Had a little sweet tooth. Maybe more than one.
I mean they had chow chow, schnitz and knepp, chicken pot pie, Bova Shankel, whoopie pies...what could little Mama want?
So she ate the pie, and I ordered and ate a nice PA Dutch meal. In other words, a starchy, greasy mess of food, with gravy on everything.
Now, Mama liked a little salt on her food. About a half-inch per square inch. Like that. She went through a McDonald's period when she ate at McDonald's probably twice a day. And here we were in Zinn's during The McDonald's Period. So after I ate, I asked Mama if she would like to go to McDonald's. She said yes, she would.
So we went from a nice little diner over to McDonald's, that most Amish of all places, and Mama ate. Probably a hamburger. Hard to tell what it was under all that salt. Some fussy little Mama.