Wednesday, January 04, 2006

It's all about YOU

Radio question of the day:
U.S. insurance companies pay out about a billion dollars a year to people who make a claim for this. What is it?

This post is all about YOU.

You should yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.
You can observe a lot just by watching. (Yogi Berra)
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
You can't have everything; where would you put it? (Steven Wright)
You can't tell a book by its movie.
You don't know anything about a person until you meet them in court.
You don't learn a thing the second time the mule kicks you!
You either do or you don't, there is no try. (Yoda, "The Empire Strikes Back")
You have the God-given right to go out and step on a land mine.
You have to know what you're looking for before you can find it. (D. Gerrold)
You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. (Steve Martin)
You live and learn, or you don't live long.
You may already be a loser. (Sweepstakes letter to Rodney Dangerfield)
You raise your voice when you should reinforce your argument.
You will never see a cat obedience school. (Don Addis)
You're losing your mind. I saw it running down the hall about 10 minutes ago.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. (Dean Martin)
You're not going to believe this, so I'm not going to tell you.
You're only young once, but you can be immature for the rest of your life.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
You're twisted, perverted, and sick. I like that in a person.
Your Zip file is open.
Your proctologist called, they found your head.
Your program is sick! Shoot it and put it out of its memory.
Answer to the radio question of the day: Dog bites.

Ya know, there are a bunch of dogs around these here blog hills.


Doug said...

TLP, I'm flattered. Thank you.

natasha said...

That comic is like something out of 1984 ...

Chatham said...

yeah, dog bites. that's the ticket.

KristieD said...

It is that comic exactly that scares me. But to write a post all about me? How sweet! :) My favorite is the one about the turtles...I may link to this from my site sometime later today.

Mary said...

Cat obedience school. Why do I think that would be something that they would sign us up for?

Christine said...

I have a confession to make. I always skip to the answer to the radio questions before I read the rest of your entry.
Maybe I need to add that to my New Years Resolutions. Now there will be two.
1. Kill John and hide the body.
2. Read TLP blog in the order written.
That's enough for this year. I am already exhausted.

Minka said...

yeah...there are plenty of dogs around here. At the moment I have half a mind to bite one of them...real hard!

Rachel said...

Cute ones!! "You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!" Haaa

Minka said...

I loved "You can´t have everything..." and "You are only young once..."

AP3 said...

My doggie never bit no one!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Doug, you're welcome. I wondered if you would recognize the Dog Bite reference as you.

Natasha, I'm afraid that 1984 came and stayed.

ChatCat: insurance company paid my medical bills for a bite I received from a cat-whose-name-will-not-be-spoken.

KristieD: Link. Makes me think of breakfast. Time for sausage.

Mary, I dunno. Maybe in a cat fight again?

Christine. I'm a true friend. I'll help you hide the body. I know some good places.

Monika, did you just say, "bite me"? Just askin'. and Thanks.

Rachel, thanks!

AP3, True. Then again, she could only do toenails anyway.

Libby said...

so maybe THAT'S why I have Truman!!

lime said...

are turtles stampeding through peanut butter slower than molasses in january?? i'm just askin'

still life said...

However my favorite is the first;
"give into temptation...."


The Lazy Iguana said...

My insurance company had to pay when I set my hand on fire.

Don't ask. Lets just say that the incident involved alcohol, lighter fluid, and a spark. Oh yea and my hand.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

There are two types of people in the world: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't. --Anon.

Jamie Dawn said...

I trust anything Yoda says.
I am as slow as those turtles in peanut butter. I can't run worth beans. I kind of just flail around and move slowly forward.
My son was bitten by a dog at a gas station in Philly. Luckily the dog was tied up, or I think that crazy dog would have nearly killed him. It tore his shirt, but thankfully, he didn't need stitches.

actonbell said...

Wow, who let the dogs out?
Funny stuff:) I like the cartoon.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

LibBY, that's it!

Lime, they are in a dead heat in the winter. In the summer, the peanut butter trick is slower.

Still Life, yep. Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.

Lazy Iguana, that should shock me. But it doesn't. Bad sign.

Hoss, I'm the other one.

Jamie D., sounds like a junk yard dawg. Worst kind.

Actonbell, I'm sure it wasn't me. And thanks.

Meegan said...

Oooh, I love reading about myself!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Meegan! Thanks for coming by. I thought the dogs had eaten you for sure!

Peter said...

Haha, Right back atcha Lucy.

A Little Bar of Soap said...

You must give your life and soul over to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

kenju said...

Funny and scary at the same time.

Ivy the Goober said...

I wonder if I'm the only one that goes straight from the radio question to the answer... then back up to read the post. I just can't wait to find out. Or maybe I'm just afraid that when I get down to it, I'll forget there was a question and think: huh? what's THIS about?

Monique said...

Love the cartoon. Like Ivy, I often jump straight to the radio answer, THEN go back and read the rest of the post. Goes right along with my problem of being impatient about things. I like instant gratification!

Mike said...

Speaking of dog bites, I've been bitten 3 times. Dogs love me. Loved the list TLP :)

Bela said...

Very perceptive, as usual. LOL!

Wish I'd known about temptation. :-(