I've referred to Betty Bowers in the past, but that was before I knew The Pope.
I need to ask him if he's bothered by the fact that according to Google, the internet's #1 site for "Christian Advice" is Betty Bowers. Betty's site says that "thousands of lost souls turn to Mrs. Bowers for her tart, sage advice every day. And while Mrs. Bowers is vaguely cognizant of the fact that her guidance is probably the only thing standing between her readers and the sulfurous pits of an everlasting Hell, hair appointments at Jonathan Sahag Workshop in Manhattan..." and other good things, "keep her from answering all of her mail (unless, of course, it contains a tithing check that exceeds the monthly payment on one of her Bentley leases).
Betty gives loving Christian advice to unsaved trash and other hell-bound sinners. She answers questions such as, "If red is outside my palette, do I have to wear it in hell?" and discusses subjects such as the perils of allowing heterosexuals to dress you. Betty says that Rosary beads are always a fashion faux pas. The Pope could take a hint there. She also has a gift shop.
If you haven't already, check her out!