Tuesday, May 03, 2005


A friend of mine just informed me that in Massachusetts it is illegal to feed ducks between 5AM and midnight while humming. So I became curious as to what other laws I should know about when we travel in Maine, Massachusetts, and Vermont. I found that:
In Maine:
.After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.
·You may not step out of a plane in flight. (fair enough)
·Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack. (harsh)
In Massachusetts:
·At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
·Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
·An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
·Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts. (back seat is fine)
·It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
·A woman cannot be on top in sexual activities.
·It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost.
·It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits. (two exits in the city or the building?)
·It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color.
·It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building.
·It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road.
·No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. (guess the front is ok)
·Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
·Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder. (well, duh, this is New England.)
·Quakers and witches are banned.
·Bullets may not be used as currency.
·Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.
·It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
In Vermont:
· Whistling underwater is illegal. (not to mention hard to do)
· It is illegal to deny the existence of God.
· At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.
.Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
I'm not trying to pick on these states. Just trying to get the facts.  Posted by Hello


AP3 said...

I am very proud of my own state, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, for having such fine laws. Also worth noting: We have sodomy laws, and they apply to straight people too, even heterosexual married couples. So Tan and Niks, if you must "be nasty", intercourse only. Oral sex and such are NOT legal here.

actonbell said...

hehehe. I kinda like the Christmas decoration law. Actually, they're all might funny:)

actonbell said...

I meant mightY funny.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Well, as you know Aral, we will soon visit you. We just won't have sex there at all. Too risky.
(Isn't the idea of your parents having sex in any way, shape, form, or fashion, just TOO CREEPY for words?)

I agree with Lucinda that XMAS decorations stay up way too long, but January 14 is a bit harsh. We're the only people on our block who don't put up lights, so I don't want any laws about XMAS lights. They might pass laws to make us put lights out.