Sunday, October 28, 2007

This may be your last catalog!

Promises, promises...

I get so many catalogs! Some from businesses that I actually do order from, but many from places that I have never even heard of before getting the catalog.

Sometimes it's easy to see who sold your name to a mailing list, but often I just have no idea why I was so lucky as to get a particular catalog.

It's a big bother, because I have to shred the mailing address label, and also check inside to see if it's one of those catalogs with an order form inside it that is imprinted with my name and a "customer number." See, I get to have my very own customer number, on accounta I'm so very special. I've never done business with these folks, but they've given me my very own customer number. And I don't want just anyone stealing my number, now do I?

That's because some other piece of junk mail, trying to sell me identity protection, has scared me into worrying about you stealing my good name and good credit.

If they have some kind of envelope in the catalog that doesn't require a stamp, I tear off the address label and put it in the envelope with a note to remove me from their mailing lists. I often even bite the stamp bullet and pay to mail it to them myself. I might as well. We have dozens of stamps around here that don't have a price on them. No idea what they're worth. I just throw a hand full of them on letters. Just to be sure.

Several catalogs have threatened to cut me off 'cause I haven't placed an order in such a long time. Now, I have NEVER ordered from these folks. So, I guess that is a long time. Go ahead. Punish me. I deserve it. Please. Take me off your *&^%$ mailing list.


Jamie Dawn said...

Those are empty, idle threats, I assure you.
You will receive those "last" catalogues until the end of time.

kenju said...

I get those too, TLP, and I always laugh at their empty threats. So who cares if they take me off their list? Not me, for sure.

Know what I do? I send their postage-free envelopes back to them - but I send them empty!

Jocelyn said...

Don't you love it when they try to do that power move on you--the whole "cutting you off" deal?

You'll have to find a catalogue that sells Kleenex, so you can order tissues to mop up your tears of sorrow.

Quilldancer said...

Next time mail them back their "last catalog" threat with a note asking them to please, honor their word and remove you from their list.

Tom & Icy said...

Pet Meds cut us off. No more catalogs from them. But we do get emails from Betty White now and then.

The Lazy Iguana said...

I get those "order something or else no more catalogs" threat catalogs every now and then. Sometimes the threats work - sometimes not. It all depends.

The funny thing is I never noticed any missing catalogs. I like looking through them just to see what crap there is I could buy if I wanted to.

lime said...

i think youshoudl take all the credit card offers youget along with all the catalogs. then scramble the various response cards and mail them all to the wrong place in the various envelopes...see if it blows their gaskets.

ariel said...

Into small little pieces. That's what I do, too. I don't want them to find my name and address in the container behind the house, and think what a pretty name I have, and come and visit me.

actonbell said...

Those catalogs are distracting, too. For some reason, I just have to look through them...they are a menace.

AP3 said...

Poor TLP! Strangely, I don't really get catalogs in the mail. Go figure.

david mcmahon said...

G'day TLP,

I toss catalogues out and my wife reels 'em back in, quick as she can!!

I'm about to hand over my second novel to Penguin in about a day or so. After that, keep an eye on my blog for the updated announcement on Aussiejourno's Weekly Blog Awards - and please spread the word if you can. It's all about encouraging other bloggers and trying to get them more readers.



Bela said...

I don't really get any catalogues (I asked for my name to be removed from junk mail lists). Still, I shred everything that has my name on it. There's too much identity theft going on these days.

Love those threats!

G said...

I'm so torn. On the one hand, I like to idly browse catalogues from which I will order nothing. On the other hand, some are just not even looked at.

I do admire your diligence (and your nice wood floors).

Minka said...

this seems a rather complicated method of telling people: "Stop sending me your stuff!"
There are blessings living in Iceland, some of them I wasn't even aware of :)

another icelandic tradition is to congratualte teh parent when their child has a birthday: allow me to congratulate you on the birth of your daughter AP3 39 years ago :)