Monday, October 03, 2005

Who the heck am I?

As I've mentioned before, I walk in a park each morning with my friend Irene. Irene just walks a little over two miles, and then drops out and goes home. I keep walking another two miles. While we're walking together, folks we encounter just smile or nod or say "good morning." Like that. I guess two of us together look too scary to approach or something like that.

After she leaves me, people, mostly men-people, are more apt to try to chat or walk along with me awhile. Guess one person alone must look lonely. These are not scary people so it's okay.

A few days ago a little old man, probably my age, came along with a big wicker basket. He limps a little. Well, he limps pretty much actually. He speaks with a heavy Russian-sounding accent. Told me that the park "Used to be farm." That's the way he put it. Not "This park used to be a farm." Just used a sweeping arm gesture and said, "Used to be farm." He told me that the basket was to gather turnip greens that still grow in scattered areas in the park.

He's right. After he showed me what turnip greens look like, and where-all they grow there, I can see that they do indeed still grow in abundance in the park. I already knew that the entire park, which is huge, was a former farm. He told me that he cooks them with bacon. Sounded pretty good.

The next morning, I swear I saw him leaving the park holdin' up a big ole possum by the tail. So I think he was lyin' about the bacon part.

Today, a guy came up the walkway towards me, and then stopped. "Didn’t you used to live in the Meadowlark Apartments?" he asked me.

"No. I didn’t," smiling, trying not to pause in my stride. But he's going to reverse his direction and walk along here with me a little, it's clear.

"Boy, you sure look just like a lady that used to live in the Meadowlark Apartments!"

Right! I'm lying to you! I am that lady who used to....” That's what I felt like saying, but instead, I just repeated, "Sorry, not me."

Then he had to tell me that I have a twin somewhere and so on. And you know, I just might 'cause once before I retired I heard that too.

I was in line at the cafeteria at work when a woman who worked in the kitchen said to me, "Are you Ms. Robins?"

"No, I’m not."

"Really? Boy, you look just like Ms. Robins!"

I smile, trying to be nice and all, and that just doesn't come natural to me, ya know? But I'm trying: "No, my name isn't Robins. Sorry."

"Are you SURE you aren’t Ms. Robins? Because you sure look like Ms. Robins."

"Oh, wait!" I make a big show out of looking inside my blazer jacket, at the lining, and say, "My mother pins a note inside my jacket everyday with my name on it. Just let me check. Nope. No, I’m not Ms. Robins after all!"

She didn't smile back. After me tryin' to be nice and all. Huh! Some people.
You just can't be nice to some people.

27 comments:

The Lazy Iguana said...

And I thought that FloriDHU had a monopoly on crazy people roaming the streets.

I do most, if not all, of my walking around at work now. The new job requires much walking. The problem is I can not exactly say to someone that I am not me. I have to wear this ID badge with my name and picture on it.

But there are not very many turnip greens growing at the airport. For that matter, there are only a few places where anything grows at the airport.

kenju said...

People are always telling me I have a twin somewhere. It gets annoying, since they don't have a photo of my twin to show me!

Fred said...

I think it's time to get Niks a comfortable pair of sneakers. These people are staring to get a little weird.

kenju said...

I loved your comment about the DMV photos. That's akin to telling people you are older than you really are - in order to hear them exclaim "Why you don't look your age at all!" I should have done that years ago!

Monique said...

I must have a doppelganger out there too. Apparently she works in a bank not too far from me because at least two people have told me about her. And once on an airplane the women sitting next to me INSISTED that I was her son's girlfriend.

Mary said...

I'm with Fred, time to get a walking partner for the last two miles! Or maybe you can just start talking to yourself. I've noticed people tend to steer clear of my when I'm doing that. :)

Doug said...

You know I wasn't going to mention it but you do look a little like Mrs. Robins.

edina monsoon said...

Someone out there looks like me. I've been told at least 5 times in the last three years...in various ways ie either they've met me before ( scary ) or I must have a sister whom they've met. *duh* I normally...ask " is she pretty this other half of mine..cos if she is...you've the right person then" that usually puts an end to a potentially long conversation.

dddragon said...

We used to go to a local auction every week. My husband looked so much like a relative that they took photos of him to show to this cousin of theirs!

Tom & Icy said...

That's so true and funny. Sometimes it's fun to just go ahead and let them think you are that person.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

LOL. Seems as if I'm not the only one around who was separated at birth from their twin.

Niks walking is not an option. He has Parkinson's, and many other health problems as well. But please don't worry about me. I'm tough enough!

AP3 said...

Are you sure you're not Mrs. Robins? I mean, how do you know?

still life said...

If all else fails, you can pack up and move to New York. No one speaks to anyone here, people carefully avoid eye contact when on the street.
Or you can carry a paper coffee cup, and when people approach you, just ask them for spare change and they'll say "sorry" and walk away. It will work every time I guarantee it.

Jamie Dawn said...

So, the men are trying to pick you up in the park?
Are you wearing a g-string leotard on those walks of yours?
I know what happens when your friend leaves... TLP starts sashaying around the park. You are a lust magnet!

Libby said...

yup...it's your doppelganger, all right! That's scary...what if she murders someone or something? In the park, no less, at the same time you walk every day? Then everybody will say 'I know HER! She's that loony lady who'll talk to ANYONE!'
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

actonbell said...

Interesting! As you know, my face gets around, too.
Used to be farm? It was all either that or woods, no?

natasha said...

Two things:

1) You'd think men would come up with better pickup lines after being around a bit longer.

2) Speaking of being nice, the other day I was at the pub with some friends and was a tad tipsy. (No, not me!) I went to use the bathroom and there was a small line, got I waited. A girl my age comes in and says, "Oh jeez, is this a lineup for the bathroom?" I reply, "Nah, we're just hangin' out. Rather fragrant atmosphere, wouldn't you agree?"

Tan Lucy Pez said...

So you guys think that the sexy outfit I wear at 6:30 AM is what the problem is? Huh! Never thought of that.

(Acton, if my face gets around, then yes, I guess yours would too.)

NAT: Great line! I will be stealing it.

If any murders are committed in the park, it will not be Tan Lucy with the wrench.

natasha said...

I'd be suspicious. You have a colour in your name like they do.

Sorry, I mean "color".

Goa'uld said...

LOL! One of my friends told me my real twin lives in Waynesboro...

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Sheesh! I hate it when people are so cryptic. So now we have to guess what the note said?

Ms. Scarlet O'Hara Tanager?
Ms. War Eagle?
Ms. Meadlowlark Lemon?
Ms. Ruby Throat?
Ms. Pelican-Beak-Holds-More-Than-Its-Belly-Can?
Ms. Not-So-Great Blue Heron?

Gotta be ONE of those.

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

I thought Los Angeles was the capital of unfriendliness!!

Just a silly idea, but you could get a dog for your walk....(how cool would that be?)

Keith said...

When people say to me "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?" or "Where have we met recently?" I reply "Oh, I'm out of there now, the doctors let me go free and gave me a certificate to prove that I'm now sane and cured!". Then I laugh hysterically and hop away scratching my nether regions.

Vavoom said...

It's guys like that that give brass knuckles a good name.

GodlessMom said...

Mmmm. Fried Oppossum with turnip greens!

I look just like my cousin, even her brothers mix us up. At least I know who my twin is! And, ironically enough her last name IS Robins!

Lorraine said...

Hey girl, you want "Bushisms"? -- there's already TWO books published with his idiotic remarks in them. I don't have the URL offhand, but I'll get it for ya.....In fact, I'll find that URL or die trying and put it on my next blog..there are some dandies, for sure!!

I'm getting so tired of wanting to cry everytime I watch the news, because of frustration about the horror show that is the Bush administration....will there ever be any justice for *some* of these crooks? Impeaching Bush would be lovely, wouldn't it? teehee

Bela said...

I have a doppelganger too in the area. And little old ladies talk to me in queues and on buses - especially when I wear my friendly pink lipstick (when I wear the scary plum one young cashiers smile at me: they know a trendy person when they see one). The little old ladies think I'm the same age as them and they talk about the war: I have white hair but I was born several years after the end of the war! Outrageous! LOL!