Probing PA Troopers

I spent part of the day on Monday weeding out old stuff that I had in my filing cabinet. Try to do it once a year, but I'm bad about stopping in the middle of this project, and never getting all the way to the end. Today I did the entire two-drawer cabinet. Feeling mighty proud. I like things to be clean and neat.
If I were a flea, I'd live as far as possible from the dog's butt. That's the kind of person I am. Like that. Now I have a clean, as in pretty-darn-near-empty, filing cabinet. I like that in a filing cabinet.

In the old articles I had saved I found one that made me laugh again, as it had the first time. You have to laugh, 'else you'll cry. Or maybe you'll do both.

I saved this article to send to the male half of the couple who used to live across the street. I think I did send it, or that is to say, a copy of it. Apparently I couldn't bring myself to part with the original.

It's dated Saturday, September 8, 2001. You know, maybe September 11 made me forget about sending it. Huh! I wonder. Anyway. The article was in the Harrisburg Patriot-News, and written by Mike Crissey, of the Associated Press. What follows in quotes is copied straight from the newspaper. I swear to you that I can't make up anything this good.

Title: Cop sex rules to be revised Subtitle: Undercover troopers' case prompts stricter guidelines.

Pittsburgh-
"The Pennsylvania State Police are revising their policies to spell out when undercover officers go too far to get evidence after a pair of troopers accepted oral sex during a sting at a massage parlor.

"The two troopers, whose identities weren't released, paid a woman $60 each for oral sex on July 19 while undercover at a massage parlor in Duncannsville, about 75 miles east of Pittsburgh, according to court records.

"State police vice detectives statewide have been told that officials are writing a new policy, which would likely require undercover troopers to get permission from their superiors before having sex during an investigation,...."
Can you hear it now? Hey, Sergeant, can I get a blow job today? Using state funds? Huh, huh, can I? Please?

"...the new rules could go so far as to prohibit troopers from having sex during investigations except in life-and-death situations."
That's harsh. Geez, how 'bout....if I don't get laid today, I'll just die.? Reason enough? Life-or-death? Who are they kidding?

"To some extent you have to rely on your people to make the right decisions on the fly," (Maj. Ralph Parlandi speaking) "Their heart was in the right place." (sic)
Oh, those were their HEARTS coming out of their flies. That's okay then.

"Although troopers are trained that money changing hands is enough for a prostitution charge there is nothing that spells out what to do in this particular situation."
Well, if you don't tell the boys what to do, I guess they'll just make it up as they go along...Oh, I'm sure they made it UP all right.

The article goes on to say that "the troopers weren't criminally charged and weren't disciplined...." And "In terms of the extra steps that they took, we recommended against it" (but) "the troopers' actions were no worse than undercover officers buying drugs to acquire evidence."
OH! Right! I see no difference at all. Do you?

BTW, the article ends with a sentence about the woman "who touched them sexually," saying, "(name) pleaded guilty to two counts of prostitution, paid a $458 fine and reportedly left town." Can't say that I blame her. Who wants to hang around and pay taxes in a state like this? After all, she KNOWS where your tax dollar goes.