I love words. They're just plain fun. Doug has about the best site that exists for words.
But he's too smart for me. I'm just your regular, simple fool, who ain't so sofistedcated as some. So if you're lookin' for smart. Don't look here. It's pointless. Pointless is a rule of etiquette. It means it's considered rude to point. Or like sometimes, words have a second meaning, so then pointless means a football game that ends zero-zero.
I used to be an Accountant. That's a financial manager for ants. I suppose it could be a person who numbers ants as they come out of their little mounds, but that was beneath me. Later I was an Analyst. An Analyst is the keeper of a large index of buttocks. Butt, I retired. I was tired some days when I was still working, and now I'm tired all over again.
The only reason I am up in the computer room typing is because I was leaving a hindprint in the TV room. A hindprint is an indentation made by a couch potato. But you knew that.
Here's some words that I learned from the Washington Post. You all probably know these words, so you don't have to read them. In fact reading them may give you Deja Moo. You know, that feeling that you've heard this bull before.
I was going to begin the way you do when you eat cherries. You know, choose and eat the best ones first. Like that. But then I always end by eating them all anyway. So I'm just going to type. Eat one or two, or all, or none. I'll never know.
Hozone: the area around 6th street, maybe 3rd street in your town.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as Gomer Pyle.
Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. I don't really understand that one, but I will keep trying.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. I'm afraid I may be catching this.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. See George W. Bush.
Tatyr: a lecherous Mr. Potato Head.
Conratemps: the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers.
Writer's tramp: a woman who practices poetic licentiousness.
Guillozine: a periodical for executioners.
Emasculathe: a tool for castration.
Burglesque: a poorly planned break-in. I think they mean like Watergate or something.
(Burglarize are what a crook sees with, and Polarize are what penguins see with, but that's got nothing to do with nothin'.)
Eunouch: the pain of castration. Emphasis is on the ouch I think.
Hindkerchief: really expensive toilet paper, like maybe toilet paper at Buckingham palace.
Nazigator: an overbearing member of your carpool.
Impotience: eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription.
Adulatery: cheating on your wife with a much younger woman who holds you in awe. The young woman in this case has the kinda stupidity, against which, God Himself is helpless.
Antifun gal: a prude. Some of these gals may be plums in the beginning, but end up as prunes. Sad. Really sad.
Vaseball: a game of catch played by children in the living room.
Well, gotta get to bed. There's always tomorrow, which is one of the greatest labor savings devices of today.
I have this lullabuoy in my head. That's an idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep. I think that's Natasha's fault. She got me started on this song....