The first item is Angry Art:
I'm pretty sure this guy's name is Art, and he looks mad as hell to me. So. Angry Art.
Number two is Bald Bench.
Before Reds catcher Johnny Bench went bald, he was hot.
Number three is Creepy Caterpillar.
Creepy caterpillar is, like, totally redundant. All caterpillars are creepy.
Number four is dangerous dog.
This dog is Doug of Awaking Ambrose. Don't get between him and his big breakfast. Talk about danger! That dawg.
Number five is Excited elephant.
Whatdchaexpect? An elephant taking his Viagra pills? This is more exciting. Just admit it.
Next we have Funny Fender.
I think this fender with a guard is funny as all get out.
For the letter G, we do Golden Gesture.
I guess we told them! We're always
Whew. Jeez. I'm only to Humble House.
Is this just so sweet or what?
On to Innocent Igloo.
What makes this so innocent is it's the married couple above. On their honeymoon. See? Innocent. Like totally. And, it was an igloo.
J is for Jumpy Jaguar.
So easy and so obvious and so not funny that you'd think I was getting tired or sumtin'.
Okay. What now? Oh, yeah. Kind Kitten. How hard can that be? Don't you wish you had a kitten that kind?
L is for Little Lion.
Ain't he cute? And I'm not lying.
Next we do Mean Melon.
Man, there ain't nothing meaner'n a cannibalistic melon!
Nine Noses? WTF? NINE???? I gotta take a break!
Okay. I'm back. Didchamissme?
Wow, we're all the way to Orange Opponent!
You know that they're opponents 'cause all the good teams are blue and white. I mean if God isn't a Penn State fan, then why is the sky blue and white?
Pointed pendant sounds cool. Maybe.
I believe this pendant has a point. I just don't know what it is.
Getting tired. You too?
Now, it's Q for Quartered Queen. Say what? This is Catherine of Aragon. She was quartered at Kimbolton, secluded from King Henry and her daughter, Mary, because ol' Henry couldn't manage to impregnate her with a healthy son. That Henry. See the elephant above for tips.
Awrightie. R is Red Road. I hope that's not too hard. Like Henry.
Red enough for me.
S is for Steamy salt. I have no ideas for that at all!This is an Epsom steamy salt bath. Would I lie?
T is for Terrible Theater. I wish that were difficult.
Directed by Ed Wood. I rest my case.
U is Unhappy Umbrella.
This umbrella is not unhappy because it's broken. It broke itself to avoid being seen over "W".
V is for Vulnerable Vampire.
See, Buffy is a vampire KILLER, so it's the vampire who's in trouble here.
My fingers are tired. So's my butt from sittin' here. But I'm too competitive to stop! So on to W is for Whimpy Walrus.
Ya call that a mustache? Pretty whimpy if you ask me.
X is for Xanthic Xebec. Had to look up both of these words. So I'm givin' ya the yellowest xebec I could find.
Gettin' close here. Y is for Yarling Yarn.
You can go here and read a yarn about her.
Done at last, done at last, thank gawd awmighty, I'm done at last!
Z is for Zesty Zimocca.
And if that zimocca isn't zesty, then I don't know my zimocca.
Oh. I actually don't know my zimocca. But google says that there's zimocca.