Monday, September 24, 2007

My head is spinning

Husband Niks watches TV with the remote firmly in his hand. That Niks. At least I think it’s in his hand. Could be connected intravenously. He does seem to feel as if he would croak if it became disconnected, so maybe that’s it.

Yesterday he was watching the Philadelphia Eagles. I try to root for his team, but yesterday I was pullin’ for the wrong team. That’s ‘cause they weren’t wearing the right colors. How was I to know that this team, whose colors are green and white, was today wearing uniforms of yellow and blue? Those iggles. Versatile. They won anyway, even without me.


But Niks can’t watch anything straight through. He has to keep switching stations. Makes me want to rip that thing outta his hand.

So we’re watching his iggles, and then during a lull, suddenly we’re watching an old movie. The young people in it are passing a graveyard. There’s eerie music. Wait! There’s a light in the graveyard! So naturally they go to investigate this light and maybe the creepy music too. Only in the movies, right? I mean, would you go into a graveyard at night to investigate a light, especially if there’s weird music playing?

Now we’ve moved on to sumtin else. I musta blinked. It’s a cop show. The cops had to go into a strip club. Well, duh! All police investigations involve visiting a strip club at least once. Am I right?



What's this?! LJB is giving a speech. We’ve wandered into Public TV Land. Some show about civil rights for Mexicans. Looks interesting. Ooops! That was a nanosecond of my life that I will never get back.

I don’t know what we’re watching now, but some plain girl just became beautiful just by removing her glasses and shaking out her hair. Bet you never saw that in a movie before.



TV and movies are like that. Just like on television no one ever runs out of bullets. On the rare occasion when they do, they always throw the gun at their attacker. But the attacker always ducks and never gets hit.


Oh, excuse me, that’s some quarterback getting’ hit. I’m like, totally, confused.

17 comments:

Rachel said...

No wonder you are confused with all that channel switching! Maybe you should be in charge of the remote??!! Yeah...probably not worth the battle!! :)

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...I must say it would drive me crazy if I wasn't the one punching the remote...HA! I often scoot around during commercials to see if there is something I should be watching instead! I know. It is really stupid...LOL!

Those uniforms are all shint and like satin or something...My My My. Footvall Uniforms have definitely shanged, haven't they? These look like "designer" uniforms...LOL!

Tom & Icy said...

Love your hair-do. Is the spray to keep the bees out?

PI said...

You must have the patience of a saint. I put up with John Wayne, Colombo, History programmes, WW1 and 2 and such but the zapper stays with Momma.

ariel said...

My friend does that, too. I've never known you could watch TV like that before, he taught me.

Colours of teams can be confusing indeed. In soccer they keep tricking me with switching halves of the field at half time.

lime said...

let's put niks in a room with my husband and kids, they all do the same thing. drives me right outta my mind. you and i can agree on ONE show to watch and enjoy it uninterupted.

jan said...

We decided those Eagles "costumes" must have been worn in days of black and white TV, designed by a colorblind designer. Horribly pathetic. I can't imagine that these will be big throwback bestsellers.

The Lazy Iguana said...

I hate that S word too. I can say "s word" here right?

Anyway, it drives me nuts.

Niks might like Robot Chicken on Cartoon Network. He may not catch all the jokes. The creator seems to be close to my age, and so many of the jokes are 80s kids pop culture based. Like "My Little Pony Apocalypse Pony" where the little ponies "war", "famine", and "death" show up. Classic.

Anyway, the mad scientist on the show keeps changing the channels for you so all you have to do is sit there.

Doug said...

My dad watches TV the same way. Must be the generation before television waited all their lives for the remote. I used to get a lot of exercise sitting down to watch TV with dad because the surfing would drive me crazy and I'd end up down the street shooting hoops instead.

tsduff said...

WOW, takes a lot of concentration to watch tv these days. This bird can't hack it... too much commotion. S'cuse me while I fly outside for a bit...

Christine said...

Pssst. As soon as he gets interested in the game, steal the remote and quickly take the batteries out. He won't be able to change it and will be too lazy to get up and change the channel to surf manually.
(Taken from my Mom who after 45 years of marriage knows all the tricks)

Nessa said...

We must let men have some sort of power.

Logophile said...

Westerns, hairstyles and football leave me all confused too.

TLP said...

I had no idea there were so many guys that do this! Maybe it will help me knowing that. Right now it helps me to read. I read a lot.

tsduff said...

I am getting so elderly that I must turn off or at least turn down the tv to concentrate on my book. Horror of horrors, it is beginning to remind me of my own Grandma (in whose old house I now live) who needed days to recover after the family (all of us rambunctious, noise-making grandkids) left after a long holiday weekend. My Grandpa did design a remote control device long before they were in the stores though... it was just a toggle switch. He wasn't a surfer.

actonbell said...

Did I ever tell you about how I was left alone for quite awhile with Mike's uncle? He flipped around for awhile, but then he did settle on a station: we watched a documentary about the Pope's funeral. Good times.

neva said...

not only is our remote one of those complicated cable/TV/DVR thingies, but my sports-lovin' husband has NO idea how to use it. just sayin'... ; )

(okay, he sort of knows, but not really.)