Husband Niks watches TV with the remote firmly in his hand. That Niks. At least I think it’s in his hand. Could be connected intravenously. He does seem to feel as if he would croak if it became disconnected, so maybe that’s it.
Yesterday he was watching the Philadelphia Eagles. I try to root for his team, but yesterday I was pullin’ for the wrong team. That’s ‘cause they weren’t wearing the right colors. How was I to know that this team, whose colors are green and white, was today wearing uniforms of yellow and blue? Those iggles. Versatile. They won anyway, even without me.
But Niks can’t watch anything straight through. He has to keep switching stations. Makes me want to rip that thing outta his hand.
So we’re watching his iggles, and then during a lull, suddenly we’re watching an old movie. The young people in it are passing a graveyard. There’s eerie music. Wait! There’s a light in the graveyard! So naturally they go to investigate this light and maybe the creepy music too. Only in the movies, right? I mean, would you go into a graveyard at night to investigate a light, especially if there’s weird music playing?
Now we’ve moved on to sumtin else. I musta blinked. It’s a cop show. The cops had to go into a strip club. Well, duh! All police investigations involve visiting a strip club at least once. Am I right?
What's this?! LJB is giving a speech. We’ve wandered into Public TV Land. Some show about civil rights for Mexicans. Looks interesting. Ooops! That was a nanosecond of my life that I will never get back.
I don’t know what we’re watching now, but some plain girl just became beautiful just by removing her glasses and shaking out her hair. Bet you never saw that in a movie before.
TV and movies are like that. Just like on television no one ever runs out of bullets. On the rare occasion when they do, they always throw the gun at their attacker. But the attacker always ducks and never gets hit.
Oh, excuse me, that’s some quarterback getting’ hit. I’m like, totally, confused.