Sunday, September 16, 2007


Why do things inevitably and steadily deteriorate?

You finally get the perfect haircut. It grows. Sh*t.

You redecorate a room, get a new rug. People insist on walking on it. Sh*t.

You replace one thing. Everything around it looks shabby. Sh*t.

You make up the bed in the morning. That night the husband won't sleep on top of the covers. Sh*t. He won't eat standing up and leaning over the sink either. Crap.

Keeping house is like stringing beads without putting a knot in the end of the string. Bugger.


OldHorsetailSnake said...

You mean you do not like doing things over and over? My suggestion is you get into reincarnation, become a dung beetle, and eat shit.

Ho ho har de har har. My goodness, Sis, that just blurted out. I know it's not funny; don't rub it in.

Jocelyn said...

You've convinced me: I need to stop trying.

I vacuumed today, and already I regret it.

It won't happen again.

PI said...

I've still got the old habit - but less often. Much.

Nessa / Goldennib said...

I agree, wholeheartedly.

Boo said...

the definition of insanity is doing things over and over again hoping for a different outcome. I guess I am thoroughly insane.

AP3 said...

This just makes me think of my high school physics teacher... he had one bumper sticker that said, "Physics is Phun" and another that said, "Entropy isn't what it used to be".

neva said...

thanks for reminding me a week before my birthday that i AM getting older, and not at all better.


jan said...

We are all Sisyphus pushing the damn rock up the hill only to have it roll down again. But Jocelyn has the answer: stop vacuuming.

Doug said...

So much mess, so little time.

MyUtopia said...

* Check out my big blog announcement.

david mcmahon said...

G'day TLP,

You speak for us all! That's one of the truths of life, isn't it!



TLP said...

So, Gene, you get to go to Hawaii, and I get to eat shit and die?

Smart move Jocelyn.

PI, we do slow down, don't we?

Thanks for backing me Nessa.

Ditto Boo.

Funny line AP3. I've forgotten that teacher's name. But he was kinda nerdy for sure.

You're welcome Neva! I'm a true pal.

Jan, can we stop all of it and just go out for a beer?

I'm thinking that you contribute your share Doug.

My Utopia, congratulations! Wonderful news.

Yep David. I don't speak as well as you, do I make up for that by never shutting up.

Minka said...

Hey, for a second i thought we were supposed to define that word, cleanly of course.

I've been in your house, believe you me it is spotless, I still regret not following my instincts and take off my shoes and ask for slippers, though.

jenn said...

I wish I was a good housekeeper. But my condo is like my life...chaotic. I'm not sure what I'd do if both were neat and orderly. Probably worried about someone (re: me) messing it up.

Thanks for swinging by the new digs.

The Lazy Iguana said...

I want to design a house. It will have channels running along all but one side of the walls. The side of the wall with no channel will have many high pressure water jets. And tile floors.

In each corner there will be a seacock valve.

Cleaning the place will be simple. Open the seacocks, and turn on the water. The water will stream in a sheet across the floor, and then run into the channels and be directed to drains.

After the flushing is over, close the seacocks so that bugs can not get in through the drains to the outside.

cindra said...

Damn. You just made me depressed. But then you made me laugh. Does one cancel out the other or does that latter overtake the former? I'll get back to you.

Cheesemeister said...

That picture looks like my house.
I am a really bad housekeeper.

TLP said...

Minka, yes we should have all defined it. Like we should re-define what a clean house looks like.

Jenn, you don't know how much I rue all the hours of my life that I have spent sterlizing my house.

Lazy one: Sounds good to me. But I'm worried about the furniture. Does it hang from the ceiling?

Cindra, laughing always wins.

Cheesey: Housework makes you ugly. Trust me. I know. I'm guessin' you're lookin' mighty fine.

Tom & Icy said...

The quicker things break down, the stronger the economy.

lime said...

you nailed this on the head, sister. i cleaned my avalanche of a desk yesterday. hwat happened 15 minutes later. mr. lime(who complains the most about my desk) dumped his junk all over it.

Doug said...

ENTROPY, n. The state of grace, antedated.

ariel said...

"Keeping house is like stringing beads without putting a knot in the end of the string."

Thank you, I now undertsand everything.

david mcmahon said...

I went to boarding school, so I was completely house-trained and efficient, but yes, most of my friends would fall into the same category when it comes to being house-savvy!

tsduff said...

I'd rather be "EN san TROPey"

Nothing ever stays the same. Nothing, never.

TLP said...

Spoken like a true American Icy!

The desk is a flat surface Lime. It had to be covered.

Nope, Doug, I live in PA and you know it.

Ariel, any time you need something cleared up, just ... well, it's probably best you ask someone else. Someone who knows.

Oohh....David! Ladies do love a man who's housebroken!

No, Terry. Sadly nothing stays the same. Or, sometimes HAPPILY.

Catmoves said...

Funny post, but it hit close to home. I have warned my once a week cleaning lady that if she ever, ever touches anything on my computer desk, I will be attending her funeral. (I don't think she's really afraid of me, though. She weighs 40 punds more than I do. And laughs. At me.)

actonbell said...

Say, that door looks too good for the house...

Oh, man, I got unpacked, and then the mail rained down on me.

TLP said...

Cat, you have a cleaning lady???? *envy* I could never have one. Too anal.

Lol on the door Acton. Yes, it does. Shoulda changed the house, huh?

Jamie Dawn said...

I hear you!!
I string beads continually while my hubby and two nearly grown up monkeys cut the knots off the string.
I can't relax if my house is messy. The laundry must be done and the kitchen shiny or I can't rest.
Of course, keeping the kitchen shiny takes super human powers on a daily basis.
We women truly are goddesses!!!

tsduff said...

Cleaning lady? Yer lookin at her... LOL. I've never had one either. I'd end up having to clean for the cleaning lady!

TLP said...

J.D and Terry, two more domestic goddesses!

Libby said...

i always hated the fact that we had a big dining room table, where all the mail, tif's schoolbooks, and everything else ended up! remember the 'murphy bed'?...i always thought someone should invent 'the murphy table', so after you got done eating, you could fold it up into the wall!

The Lazy Iguana said...

TLP - simple. All pieces furniture would have small acrylic extensions attached that would raise the stuff off the floor 1/2 inch or so. This way the water could flow under it.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...Oh How True! The endless re-do's....Over and Over and Over....It's enough to drive you to live in a Hotel!

Bela said...

I can see the truth of it every day when I look in the mirror. :-(

TLP said...

You just invented it Libby. Good job.

You should get together with Libby, Lazy one. Two inventors in a pod.

Naomi, we should all live in hotels! Why didn't I think of that? But it has to be a deluxe one.

Housework is not good for a lady's face Bela. I should know.