It's Halloweeeeeeen

Please celebrate responsibly.

Happy Birthday AP3

Happy Birthday to my youngest child, AP3. She's sweet, pretty, smart, and hard-working. Also nice. I like her a little bit, as you can see.

But I don't wanna!

Radio Question of the day:

Coffee is the world's most recognized scent. What is second?
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I like Daylight Savings Time. I don't wanna change back. But do they ask for my opinion? Noooooo.

It's not just every freakin' clock in the house, it's the clocks in the cars too. I hate that.

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Answer to the radio question of the day:

Peanut butter. Oh, right. I believe that.

Kites and stuff

Radio Question of the Day:

According to a study, male compulsive shoppers are more likely to become addicted to this than female compulsive shoppers. What is it?

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After our trip to Ocean City, MD I was going to post a picture or two, but blogger wouldn’t cooperate. So I thought that I would try again.

There was a kite festival going on while we were there. The Kite Loft always has great kites flying, but I never before saw so many at the same time. Some of these kites were huge. HUGE. If you look closely you can see people on the beach, which will give you an idea of the size of the kites. (If you click on the Kite Loft link you can watch a web cam of OC.)

I’ve never successfully flown a kite in my life. I have one in the trunk of my car that my walking buddy Irene gave me. Every once in a while we try to see if I can get it to fly. Never happens.

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Answer to the Radio Question of the Day:

Auctions.

A female friend of my friend Patti once bought a chicken farm at an auction. I am not joking. Jane did not have her husband’s approval to do that, and she said that she never had any intention of buying a farm. She was driving along, saw the auction, and stopped to watch. She just got carried away in the moment.

I think she almost bought the farm when she told her husband. They had to hire a lawyer to get out of that mess, and it cost them a bundle.

As close to nothing as you can get

Radio Question of the Day:

You can't really tell by looking at it, but the average one is 44 inches long...
What is it?
Well, I already know what it’s not.

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Have you ever heard of findu.com? It’s pretty neat! My recent visitor has a ham radio in her van and she told me how I can track her across the country. A person can go to findu.com, and click on “Position Reports,” and if you know the code for a person’s vehicle, you can type it in there (just replace the number that is already listed in the address bar) and then enter, and it will give you a map that shows you right where your friend is. Currently it shows me that Bindy is “1.2 miles northwest of Detroit, MI --- Report received 1 hours 20 minutes 16 seconds ago Altitude: 619 feet.” Right now she’s on Interstate 75. I find this system just amazing. Nice to know that she’s a safe distance away.

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Answer to the Radio Question of the Day:

A coat hanger.

Jeez. That’s such a boring answer I’m going to give you another answer to a radio question: 7/7/07.

So what was the question?

Alone at Last

Radio Question of the Day:

A new survey found that these are now the three words most women want to hear the most... What are they?

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Well, my Mormon guest has left. That Bindy. I wouldn't know where to start telling you about the visit. Aren't you lucky?

I went to church with her. Their Sunday morning services last three hours. Three hours. I was numb. And I'm not just talkin' 'bout my butt. The services are broken up however. One hour in the chapel, second hour in Sunday School and I forget what-the-heck they call the third hour, but for that session the men and women are separate.

All I'm doing today is finishing up the painting I'm doing at my church. Then I have to get busy quilting the church banner that daughter 3D and I did. At the same time I have to work on the preparations for our church auction. I'm in charge of the food for that. A day of rest. And after Bindy, it is a day of rest.

Anybody ever notice how much time this non-believer spends in church? That Lucy.

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Answer to the Radio Question of the Day:

"You've lost weight!" Haven't heard that in a while.

Blog Joke Day

Peter has declared Friday the 13th to be “Blog Joke Day.”
His idea was to pick a joke which everybody publishes on Friday the 13th, along with their own joke. He decided to kick it off with an elephant joke, but since those were popular a long time ago and some younger bloggers may not know about elephant jokes, we’re allowed to substitute Blonde jokes.

Peter’s Blonde Joke
A blind man and his guide elephant enter a bar and find their way to a stool. After ordering a drink and sitting there for a while, the man yells to the bartender: “Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?”
The bar falls quiet. In a deep husky voice the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a *1.82 tall, 90kg blonde with a black belt in karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and she’s a weight lifter. The lady to your right is blonde and she’s a pro-wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister, you still wanna tell that joke?”

The man says; “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

*Peter lives in Australia.

My Blonde Joke

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."

Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?"

Blonde: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."

Psychiatrist: "Uh ... How's that working out for you?"

Blonde: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."

Psychiatrist: "And why do you suppose that is?"

Blonde: "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
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That psychiatrist. It's obvious that the zip code problem is the reason for the lack of mail. What is he thinkin'? Here he's a doctor, and a blonde is smarter than he is.

Somebody's knockin' at my door

We get a fair amount of overnight company. Mostly that's wonderful. Then again...

Last night the phone rang and Niks answered it. He said later that the voice on the phone said, "Hi Uncle Niks, it's Bobby." Niks greeted him warmly, and after a while said, "I'll check the calendar. Talk to your Aunt Lucy while I do that."
That Niks. He's always handin' off the phone to me.

Anyway I talk to Bobby and get more and more confused. Both Niks and I thought we were talking to my sister Bonnie's son Bobby, but we were talking to Niks' brother Bob's son Bobby. Both Bobbys are southern boys. We haven't seen this nephew Bobby in a coon's age. But he's coming on Wednesday. And I'm sure that we will enjoy him.

Bobby is lucky that he will leave right before our next company arrives. Mormon missionaries. Yep. It's kinda a long story. I have a good friend Lois, who has a daughter named Bindy. Bindy became a Mormon years and years ago. Not just any ol' Mormon. A MORMON. One who saves folks. Bindy and I always got along well for some strange reason. She lives in CA, as does Lois. Anyhoo, Bindy and two female (of course) companions are on a mission all across the country, saving folks all over the place, and are detouring to visit us.

I've known about this visit for a while, and when I tell people that three missionaries are coming to stay with us, I always add, "Pray for me." Y'all know what a big old sinner I am and all, so this is going to be a tiny bit of a strain for me. In fact it could be every bit as stressful as growing out your bangs.

BUT, I should have been more specific about the praying stuff. 'Cause somebody prayed too damn hard. Kay, one of the missionaries, had to travel home on accounta her mother got very ill. And the other companion went back with her so she wouldn't be alone. So, Bindy will be visiting us by herself. It's okay for them to leave Bindy alone. No one in their right mind messes with Bindy.

Now I will have just one Mormom missionary, and she knows me well enough not to try to save me. Not too many people mess with me either.

Back on line at last

I’ve been gone so long, I’m gonna give you three Radio Questions of the day:

Question one:
On average, 80 people take a shot at these each year. What the heck is it?


Question two:
Most everyone enjoys these, but 21% of us refuse to eat them. What are they?


Question three:
The Number-One lunch meat for kids in the U.S. is bologna. What is the Number-One lunch meat in Japan?
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I missed being on line so badly that I’m seriously worried about myself. How did I ever live without the internet? I'm not a well person.

How does that game go? You make signs with your hands somehow. Let's see now, email beats fax, fax beats paper, and paper beats smoke signals. Something like that? The internet beats everything.



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Answer to question one:
The Goodyear Blimps. Those hunters. Some of y’all must need glasses.

Answer to Question two:
Fortune cookies. Can I have yours? I like’m.

Answer to question three:
Whale meat. You can have mine. See how sweet I am?

A Program Note . . .

TanLucyPez's computer is broken again. AOL was supposed to get a new modem to her by now. She is very unhappy. She has visited my house a couple of times to use my PC.

She will post as soon as she is able.

We now return you to your regular blogs.

~ dddragon