Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Real Men


Radio Question of the Day:

65% of fathers refuse to allow their children to touch this. What is it?
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This morning on the radio I learned that the metrosexual is OUT. Those guys. OUT. Real men are back "in." Well! Doesn’t that just frost your cookie?

I looked up the real, official definition of metrosexual. Here it is.
Metrosexual (met.roh.SEK.shoo.ul) n. An urban male with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle.

That’s as opposed to a real man, who spends his time and money being all stressed out with no one to choke.

Hollywood is full of the metrosexual guys. So now, they’re not going to eat quiche or wear salmon-colored dress shirts? They won’t be getting pedicures and manicures and strut their stuff like peacocks? They’ll stop getting their hair highlighted and going to tanning salons? Do I believe that?

A metro-man is a straight guy who uses at least three different hair products, loves clothes and shopping for them. He’s romantic and sensitive. The kinda guy that makes you wonder, “Is he gay, or is he just British?” He’s got money to spend and he prefers to live in a big city. Duh. That’s where all the best shops are. Plus gyms and good hairdressers. Someone said that a metrosexual is a clotheshorse wrapped around a dandy fused with a narcissist.

I don’t want to be too judgmental ‘cause I don’t actually know a metrosexual. I wouldn’t mind if my husband gave up some of his 23-year-old shirts. Lots of men are in a time warp as far as clothes are concerned. But I’m glad he doesn’t use makeup and do stuff like that.

But now “real men” are back! Is this a good thing? If it means that baseball players will wear fewer necklaces, I’m all for it.

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Answer to the Radio Question of the Day:

The thermostat.
It takes a real man to take control of the thermostat. And the remote control. Oh. Wait. That’s all men. You guys.

27 comments:

The Lazy Iguana said...

I never fell for that "metrosexual" crap. It started with that "queer eye for the straight guy" show. The metro fad went out a while ago.

Us guys are simply too lazy. Three kinds of hair product?! Do you know how much time that takes? Is washing my hair once a day not good enough or something?

No guy "loves" to shop for clothes. It is a royal pain in the ass. You have to go to the mall, find a place to park, and so on. I do not know why ANYONE loves to do this. Same goes for shoes.

You can not change the nature of the beast. At least not for very long.

Fred said...

I loved the comment about the shirts. I recently got a new t-shirt for helping out at a school event. My youngest immediately noticed with a line something like this:

"It's not faded, and it's not one I've seen on VH-1's I Love The 80s show.

Ouch.

Libby said...

well, kev's good at shopping for clothes for me...i think he got trained to shop by victoria's secret catalogues....

OldHorsetailSnake said...

You may not know this, but a thermostat can be really fouled up. Nobody under 50 should be allowed to touch them, really.

And anybody OVER 50 ought to break down and buy a new shirt, for crap's sake.

Lucy said...

My husband notices if i mess with the thermostat. "Why are you changing it - we have the same temp all year round?". Why am i changing it - want to beat him over the head when i hear this -- - why do you think? So i usually say something smart.. well the house was burning down this morning - so i dialed up some more cold air. You know it was just a bit too hot for me -- due the fire and all.

neva said...

what a fun post! (as usual) i must be married to a consummate metrosexual, for i pretty much control both the thermostat AND the remote (i'm not lying... read his post today, you'll see!). what can i say, he's masculine in all the right ways/places and metro where it counts (does dishes/lets me control electronic devices/asks for directions...)

oh, and TLP, 23 year-old shirts? really? yikes! xoxo

kenju said...

Too funny! I am that bad about the thermostat here - because if I let mr. kenju touch it, I would be freezing ALL ythe time!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Okay. The husband doesn't actually have any shirts that are 23 years old. But he would have if his stomach hadn't kept growing. So, the belly is a big plus. No pun intended. He's not a metrosexual, and that's a good thing.

Rachel said...

I like having control of the thermostat. At workplaces I've heard that the thermostat is the main complaint of most people...too hot...too cold....and so it goes!

lime said...

lucy, you kill me every time! i am so glad i was not drinking anything when i read this or i would have been cleaning it off my monitor. and ya know, as i read you i think, 'this is my diana in the future!' LOL

sherle said...

Wow!!! You're a funny lady, Luce!!! My husband had every shirt he ever bought. As his tummy grew, so did his wardrobe. Never got rid of any of his clothes because he 'might fit into them again someday'!!! ;-)

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL...How do you like that? These Metrosexuals were just "IN"...like yesterday! Now they are out??? I can't keep up, I just can't!

I love the Thermostat statistic, Lucy...I NEVER would have guessed that...I was thinking...the remote control! HA!

Peter said...

Time to sell all your shares in the Quiche Company Lucy,"Real" is back.

Minka said...

I was thinking remote control. It has always been the tough guy women were looking for. The metrosexuals are just self indulging. I know one, and oh my God is he tiresome. He spends more time in the bathroom than I do. That´s just not right!

Nigel Patel said...

I bought into all that metro stuff a couple years back. Even had my back waxed once.
But fact is that even though I love art house films I still look like a lumber jack and if I wore all the right clothes I would look like a lumber jack in somebody's nice clothes.
I gave it up for very manly Taoist meditation, which is way cheaper.

actonbell said...

testing one two three...
That question sounds awfully dirty to me!

Lots of guys I've known are metro.

Doug said...

A real man is never without someone to choke, even if he's alone.

AP3 said...

Hi Mommy!

When I was in NYC recently, I was struck that the metrosexual men there are OVER the top. I mean, I kept thinking I saw obviously gay men with their female friend... only to see them making out together later. These are some Uber-metrosexuals, I guess.

Logophile said...

Well, depending on how extreme the definition is Mr. Logo is a borderline metro.
He loves to cook, he does the dishes and the shopping too.
He enjoys browsing, he enjoys browsing sports stores more than clothing stores, but will do both.
He can dress himself well and tries his best to keep me looking good.
He isn't picky about the thermostat or the remote, unless I start getting to channel surf happy.
He only uses one hair product in addition to shampoo but is very particular about the cut.
He also fishes, and has lots of testosterone cred.
And really heinous facial hair at the moment.
He was this way before they invented the term and will continue to be this way I would guess, and it works for us!

The Phoenix said...

Thermostat?

My guess was remote control.

Kyahgirl said...

Hi TLP, I've looked at this post a few times and still can't think of anything nice to say. I hate labels. why does our society need to label a guy who likes to shop and take care of his appearance and make it sound denigrating? Why is it socially acceptable for women to shop and take care of their appearance? Is "woman" a denigrating label in itself?

hmmm.

Jamie Dawn said...

Metrosexuals must have a skin regime. They know what a toner is, and they use it!

My hubby likes to keep the house cold as a meat locker.
I sneak by and raise the temp a few degrees when he's not looking.

ariel said...

hi, TLP!

I thought it was computer...

Khya, I was thinking about the similar. does the showing up of that label mean that suddenly there are a lot more men with affection for bathroom and shopping stuff in real big cities than used to be before? or does it only mean that they are put in the spotlight by fashion business to give a boost to the sales?

AP3 said...

My real problem with metrosexual men is that I've been trying to convince women to go the slovenly way of "real men". Then the metrosexual men came along and made my lazy, sloppy self look even worse! Hmpf. The nerve!

ariel said...

I hate it when that happens...

Shirazi said...

Yes, Doug.

Anonymous said...

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