Radio question of the day:
This common product can be found in most homes, often contains four or five chemicals the EPA calls potentially harmful. An "empty" 55-gallon drum that contained it would have to be taken to the nearest state-regulated commercial hazardous waste disposal facility. What is it?
The sun came out today and I'm feelin' better. Most older people get up early and I do too. I think they do that mostly because they can't wait to see if they're still alive. That, and to have more time to find their teeth and stuff. I still have all mine in my head, so I can waste the extra time doin' nothin'.
Well, I could use the time to put creams and cleansers on my face so's I could have skin, "as smooth as a baby's behind," like the ad's claim. But I don't want folks callin' me "ass-face," so I just skip that.
I keep making typos here. I'm not gonna proof read, so get over it. Some days I can't type to save my life. I'm thinkin' the typing-to-save-my-life situation will probably never come up anyway.
Did anybody go to Mardi Gras this year? It might have been a bit depressing what with sifting through all the trash and torn-up streets. But I bet it was the best year ever for collecting Mardi Gras beads. Just sayin'.
I've been thinking about death. My death in particular. So I've decided to have a provision in my will that I will be put away with a roll of breath mints. I mean if I come back as a ghost or a zombie, I want minty-fresh breath. Somethin' to get rid of the taste of brains in my mouth, you know. Like that.
Actually when I die, I'd like to be scattered around the cemetery where my people are in Tennessee. But not, like, cremated or somethin'. I mean, it's a cemetery for gosh sakes! They oughta be able to handle seein' a finger here, a toe there. No big deal, right?
You know of course that ol' Hoss wants to be frozen and brought back to life later. But I see a big problem with cryogenics myself. I mean even if future advances in technology will let them unfreeze a person and bring him back to life in a hundred years or so, what's to say that the minimum-wage security guards will check those thermostats regularly? Hoss might thaw out a couple of times and be a bit mushy in his "new" life. He might be soft in unfortunate places. That Hoss.
I'm not fallin' for that freezing-my-body stuff. It's true I'm a senior citizen and it's true that I never got to go to a fancy school and such, but everything I ever needed to know I learned in my playpen. Just in case you kindergarten graduates think you're all that.
Answer to the radio question of the day:
Nail polish! That reminds me: Niks and I are invited to a charades party tonight! We'll suck at that. I should paint my nails. I have some OPI "I'm Not Really A Waitress" red polish. That should distract folks while I'm trying to make silly signs with my hands. Some people think I have a kinda mean sense of humor. Some people! I'm very sweet. Once you get to know me. Sort of.