Monday, March 27, 2006

Do you smell bacon burning?



Radio question of the day:

Saddam Hussein was the # 2 celebrity that people said they would NOT want to go camping with. Who was # 1?

Wait! WAIT! Saddam Hussein is a celebrity? That Saddam. Here I thought he was just a big jerk. Sadistic, murdering jerk, yeah, and well, yes, infamous, but a celebrity? Huh! I'm so behind the times.

I keep waiting for this darn radio show to ask important questions, like maybe, "Why does asparagus make my pee stink?" That would be useful information to hear in the morning.

Or maybe, you older folks remember how we used to get all greased up like a rectal thermometer and sunbathe? Well, the question could be "Why did girls used to combine baby oil with iodine to get a tan?" What was up with that? I dunno, but maybe somebody out there would call in with the answer.

I'd also like to know if Davy Crockett really wore coonskin caps. Are there photos?

I finally figured out why waiters give you their first names: It's in case you have to file a missing person's report a few hours later. Niks and I have had a couple of bad experiences lately on that. So if that's ever the question of the day, I'm the winner for sure.

Another good question would be, why is it when these mountain climbers get frostbite on their extremities, all that's talked about is fingers and toes? Isn't there anything else that is kinda like a digit and kinda exposed all by its lonesome that gets cold and maybe frostbitten? Is that why people say: "Bite me?" You think I've got a weird mind for wanting to know? Well, excuuuuuuse ME. I was just askin'.

Answer to the radio question of the day:

A: Tom Cruise

Now, that's just harsh.

37 comments:

Doug said...

"I finally figured out why waiters give you their first names: It's in case you have to file a missing person's report a few hours later."

*Big laugh*

I can see why people who bring potato chips camping wouldn't want Tom Cruise around. Plus, he scares off the bears.

Libby said...

i was gonna guess paris hilton or jessica simpson...boo.

Mary said...

Yep, I think jessica simpson would have been a good answer. I would think that the scaring off bears quality of Tom's would come in handy while camping. Of course, I'd have to deck him sooner or later, so he probably wouldn't be good either in the long run.

lime said...

my guess was michael jackson. oh well. and i almost fell off my chair at the phrase 'greased up like a rectal thermomenter' that is just too funny!

natasha said...

I would've said Gilbert Godfrey!

Saur♥Kraut said...

:D Another great TLP post! It's hysterical that Tom Cruise ranks up there with ole Saddam, but I'd like to know the complete list they had to choose from. It couldn't have included Jane Fonda, for instance. Well, come to think of it, I'd rather go camping with HER than Tom Cruise.

Anyway: I finally figured out why waiters give you their first names: It's in case you have to file a missing person's report a few hours later. ;o) Ain't it the truth???

Mindless Dribbler said...

Hell, I'd like to go camping with Jessica Simpson....

I'm actually kin to Davy Crockett and unless I'm mistaken, he wore a NY Yankees hat.

Rachel said...

Saddam a celebrity?? Geesh. That's not the name I have for him.

I think Davy Crockett probably wore a coonskin cap. They didn't have NY Yankee caps back then.

Ha! I liked the frostbite question!! I guess they don't tell us everything!!

actonbell said...

Tom deserves that! Good waiter joke:)

AP3 said...

LOL on the frostbite!

LZ Blogger said...

Witty! ~ jb///

joared said...

I'm glad somebody out in the blogosphere is asking the really important questions.

Where's the comment explaining about the iodine in the baby oil??? I want to know about that, too.

Had a gal in our dorm lo these many years ago, who religiously used that combination. Understood that by the following year, after I graduated, her skin was literally like leather, that she had a serious sunstroke. Have wondered in all the years since, whatever happened to her.

The asparagus in the pee is a pretty good question. Why don't we have a similar experience with brocolli or cauliflower, etc.?

Peter said...

Never thought about the frostbite thing until now Lucy, please let us know if you get any answers.

dddragon said...

mom, you are TOO funny!

Tom Cruise is on my sh*t list, so I completely understand that answer.

Poirot said...

Sorry but I have to ask this. You have been identified as a major suspect in the case of the little bar of soap murder. Now...

WHERE WERE YOU IN THE NIGHT OF 22 OF MARCH TO MARCH 23???

Reply here.

bornfool said...

Davey lived before the advent of the camera so it would have to be a painting. But I saw it on TV so it has to be true. :)

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Geez, that surprises me that Tom Cruise would be running neck & neck with that murdering torturing creep! Go Figure! (lol)

logo said...

Ahhh, Lucy, you made me laugh.
Thanks, that was good stuff.
And are we discussing noses, that isn't called a digit usually, is it?

Anonymous said...

Well TLP as an owne of those dangly bits i think i can answer that question. The male body works extremely hard to ensure its dangly bits remain at the optimum operating temperature, when it is warm the body lets it all hang out which is why shorts weather also coincides with accidentaly dangilng things out the leg of our shorts weather(think the male equivalent of a nipple slip). Now as it cools down the body goes into shrinkage mode(remember George from Seinfeld) and speaking from expierience as both an owner and some one living in a cold climate, the shrinkage can be fierce! I would say that before Mr. Happy got frost bite the entire of the rest of the body would be in frost bite mode as well, unless he owned one that dangled down to his knee! Alas i do not suffer from that condition, unfortunately!

So now that i have TMI'd you i think i shall retire back to my ruminations

razorbeck said...

by the way thats me^^^^^^^^ i don't know why it went in as annonymous

Sar said...

When I was 19, I did the baby oil (but not the iodine) in the sun thing when I went to the Bahamas with a girlfriend. Fried my normally fair skin something fierce. Still I'd take that over camping with Tom Cruise or Saddam anyday!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Baby oil + iodine = nylon hosiery.

During World War II.

No?

kenju said...

I thought #1 would be Dubya...LOL

schnoodlepooh said...

Well, I certainly do not understand the answers to that question. And I really want to know the answer to the question about asparagus! You are challenging my brain.

Human said...

Hi. You're funny and hardly boring.
BTW - hooked up from Lazy.
Peace.

Monique said...

Saddam and Tom Cruise in the same post? That's kinda scary, there, TLP!

joared said...

Well, shoot! I came back tonight to find the answers to those questions and the only one explained was about that dangly thing in the cold.

Spindrift said...

Hi there, I was surfing the internet and I found your blog. I like the way how this all works. I'll come by again.

Many thanks,

marriott time shares

The Lazy Iguana said...

Poor Tom! Nobody wants to go camping with him huh?

Can't say I totally disagree with that. He would probably be a whiny-puss about the whole camping thing. At least Saddam spent some time in a hole in the ground, away from the palace and luxury bunkers.

But could you imagine the Scientology babble that would spew forth from Tom's noise hole when he had to actually dig a hole to poop into?

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Memo to Joared: As your body metabolizes asparague, it produces a metabolite called methanethiol. Your kidneys see fit to dump this into your bladder.

The iodine and baby oil thing was just stupid. The iodine stained your skin while the oil did at least moisturize your skin.

So there you go.

Minka said...

What is wrong going camping with Tom Cruise? I must be missing some inside American joke. There are millions of people I would not go camping with...never thought Tom Cruise would be amongst those! Well, Colin Firth an I camping...yam...I so could show him the errors of his ways!

Jamie Dawn said...

The "bite me" line got me laughing. Goood stuff, TLP.

Inquiring minds want to know these things.

I think that Paris Hilton would be worse than Tom Cruise. Oh, the whining...
That would be pure hell.

razorbeck said...

Hi Lucy feel free to comment on my blog all you want. I even took the have to be a member feature off so anyone can comment

Doug said...

Rabbit, rabbit, blogmama!

Anonymous said...

Very nice! I found a place where you can
get a new game system, Just go to the site below
and put in your zip to see what's available in your area.
I sold mine and got some extra cash!

game system

Anonymous said...

Hello



buisness credit card
morgage loans bad credit
homeloans
G'night

Anonymous said...

Hello all

Fantastic website you have here
[url=http://pornus.hearsef.info/adult-anime-nude-figures.html]adult anime nude figures[/url]

[url=http://pornus.hearsef.info/alabama-sexual-consent-age.html]alabama sexual consent age[/url]

[url=http://pornus.hearsef.info/amateur-nude-photo-post.html]amateur nude photo post[/url]
[url=http://pornus.hearsef.info/anal-sex-teens-photos.html]anal sex teens photos[/url]

[url=http://pornus.hearsef.info/asian-girls-get-fucked.html]asian girls get fucked[/url]
best admin
Michael Kulbarsch