Friday, March 24, 2006

Exam time




Radio question of the day:

Last year, Americans spent 217 million dollars on these... What is it?

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It's that time of year for all you senior citizens to take the Senior Citizen Test. The rest of you can try these to see if you're smart enough to be a senior too. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying, "If you don't use it, you'll lose it" also applies to the brain, so... below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

Anyhoo, take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it." The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you have made your answer.

OK - relax - clear your mind and... begin.

WELL MAYBE NOT THAT CLEAR! You guys!


1. What do you put in a toaster?





Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question Two.



2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?






Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as Children's World. If you said "water" then proceed to question three.



3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?







Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions?????

If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.


4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?





Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors.

If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors", then proceed to the next question.



5. Without using a calculator -
You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?





Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!

Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
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Answer to the question of the day:

Ring tones for our cell phones.

27 comments:

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I'm not telling which one I missed. Gack.

Cheater.

Doug said...

The people pending $217 Million on ring-tones don't need to take this test.

AP3 said...

Ringtones, huh? Geez.

logo™ said...

I have a free ring tone, AND
I got those!!
YAY, I prepared for being a senior citizen!~

Bela said...

Um, I knew the silk silk silk question: Grissom tested Nick in CSI once.

LZ Blogger said...

The top of your BLOG (statement)... ME TOO! ~ jb///

Keith said...

Q. If a brick weighs four pounds and half a brick, how much does a brick and a half weigh?

A. 12 pounds! Think about it....

We could go on forever with these trick questions.

Jemima said...

It was me, I was the bus driver. Thank goodness you didn't give up on blogging altogether, I needed that chortle.

jemima x

Minka said...

I said the cow drinks milk!!! I am so ashamed.
I guess I will have to put off "applying for senior citizenship" for next year ;)

KristieD said...

That was fun!! I missed the very 1st one. I paid more attention after that. :) glad to have you back and posting!

actonbell said...

*sniker* I carelessly missed the first time, too! The last one is particularly clever--misdirection at its best:)

Libby said...

tlp, i got 'em all! woohoo!! does that mean i'm not old like my daughter swears i am????????

A Little Bar of Soap said...

Greetings from the beyond!

There are no cellphones in the Kingdom of Heaven.

God loves you.

Monique said...

I missed #2... Have heard some of the others before so you couldn't trick me on those!

Peter said...

Thank the lord I got 'em all 'cos I'm already in SC land.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

"I have no idea who the meat was."

What a riot. Lucy, you are the best.

dddragon said...

Well, I said "milk", missed the bus driver question, but got the others okay. Bookworm did really well until she got to the "survivor" question.

lol

And HOSS ... you MISSED ONE?!

*gasp*

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL! Well, I didn';t get past #2! Help Me Oh Nurse!

This is designed to show you that you have gone NOT the Golden Years, but the Stupid Years! Here I am!
I love your blog cause I always get a good laugh...I love that Eye Doctor Cartoon...Very Funny!

Rachel said...

Ring tones? People pay for that? Amazing......

schnoodlepooh said...

I flunked.

lime said...

i am proud to say i passed with flying colors, and i have NEVEr aid fo r a ring tone

HeresLucy said...

Ha ha.. that was a riot. Always a good time at the pez place.

Canadian Dude said...

You got me on the cow question....duhhhhhhhhh.

kenju said...

I have seen that darn test at least 6-7 times, and I always miss the same question. I don't want to tell you which one....LOL

Mary said...

I was doing great up until the last question - duh! Ya got me. :)

Sar said...

That was such a great quiz, TLP! Made me laugh. I have Chariots of Fire as my ringtone, but I found it on a freebie download site.

Debt Hater said...

I screwed up question one and just kept going anyway. I started to get them right... eventually!