Friday, November 30, 2007

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to all these folks, dead or alive:

Ben Stiller
Billy Idol
David Mamet
Abbie Hoffman
Dick Clark
Shirley Chisholm
Efrem Zimbalist Jr
Sir Winston Churchill
Mark Twain
Jonathan Swift
Tan Lucy Pez

I'm older'n dirt, but glad to be here! Life may be hard, but it's even worse when you're not here.

I've got the droop thang goin' on. But I'm in shape. Round's a shape. My idea of weight lifting is standing up and it takes me longer to rest than it did to get tired. But of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Still, I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

Do you realize that a postage stamp costs more than movie did when I was a kid? No joke! When I was a kid, it cost me 11 cents to go to a movie.

I may be old, but I refuse to die until I get some answers:

Is an unbreakable toy useful for breaking other toys?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
Why is it called tourist season if you can't shoot at them?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

You guys are young and smart. Check this sh*t out and get back to me.


Bela said...

Happy Birthday, dear TLP! You're not old; you're wise. :-)

(You share a birthday with David Mamet and Mark Twain! Lucky you!)

OC or Q said...

Happy Birthday TLP. I absolutely love this post!


ariel said...

Happy Birthday, TLP! I love it when someone makes me laugh on their birthday, and you did. Enjoy your day and remember that sharing your chocolate keeps you young! Let me know if you need my address...

Those are good questions. Finding the answer to the 7th one can make you live forever. :-)

actonbell said...

Happy birthday! xo, acton:)

dddragon said...

happy birthday mom!! xoxoxddd

Doug said...

Happy birthday, blogmama!

Yes, yes, because life isn't a popularity contest it's a beauty contest, they have to pay you to work so you have money to gamble online during office hours, yes and the other one's your mouth, you'd explode, gotten elected, because astronomers cornedered the market on both, because salting them is usually adequate, the alphabet was designed to keep people whose names start with "N" in the middle of everyone's business.

There ya go, you're a free agent. But stick around, I might need advice.

TLP said...

Right you are Bela! Especially Mamet. And thanks for the wishes.

Thanks Quilly. Hope you're better.

Oh, I share, Ariel. That way I get to buy more and then I always have it fresh.

Thank you daughters Acton and 3D. Where the heck is your little sister? Didcha lose her again???

*sigh* So proud of my blogson. He knows just about everyting. That Doug. Smart a$$.

Libby said...

i heard on the news last night that you're so old, your social security number starts with a that REALLY true?? just kidding, i love ya anyway!

Boo said...

Happy Birthday Lucy!!! And Round is definitely a shape. ;-)

TLP said...

Libby I'm so old my SS number only has 4 digits!

TLP said...

Ooops! Boo, you lived up to your name and snuck right in and scared me there! Thanks for the wish and thanks for understanding that ROUND is a shape.

Minka said...

Happy Birthday, TLP.

Why does pizza come in square boxes?

There are many more than teh above questions that should keep you around for a while.

Have another's ok!

puppytoes said...

2 things i wondered as i read this post:

1) why on Earth didn't i know today was your birthday when i did a post about you yesterday??

2) should i keep my mouth shut and pretend i DID know so you'll think i'm not just nice, but incredibly clever???

oy -- i'm such a maroon. but hey, at least i'm well-meaning.


PS: thanks Doug, for the helpful info regarding names starting with the letter "N". ; )

G said...

Why yes, that's why the alphabet is in that order, but then people got confused and have not adhered to LMNOP being one letter.

Happy Birthday TLP! Loved this birthday post. We could all use a dose of your outlook on any given day. Enjoy!

AP3 said...


Pia Savage said...

Happy birthday to the best questioner, and most honest blogger--I appreciate that :)

And the only blogger/person who can make Doug become a motormouth with all the answers

Great questions. Uh, when I was a kid, I actually drove my parents crazy one day with the #2 pencil one

You can't shoot tourists? Love the hemorrhoid question--it's something I shall be repeating

tsduff said...

happy bithday to another hero born on this day :) you! 4 digit social? How on earth did you manage that?

Granny Annie said...

Happy Birthday to You. Those other folks are in some pretty good company with Tan Lucy Pez!

Tom & Icy said...

Happy birthday. That's all I got to say about that.

Jamie Dawn said...

I hope you have a wonderful day!!
Eat cake and boss everyone around.

I got a kick out of those cartoons!

lime said...

happy birthday tlp!!

i'm gonna take yoru advice on getting things to droop at the same rate. seems better than watching my boobs race to the single bellybutton i have (yeah, i'm born again, not fond of that term much, but that's beside the point...but i can verify having only a single navel, hehehe)

hopes it
s the best m,ovie yet. and i think theaters ought to offer that you pay the ticket price that was in effect the day you were born if you want to see a movie today.

Christine said...

Happy Birthday! What time is cake? It IS chocolate right?

The Old Mule said...

Happy Birthday TLP!

The Lazy Iguana said...

A very happy birthday to you!

I hope you have painted everything you own safety orange. Those drunken hunters with guns!

In fact, I was going to send you some orange paint as a birthday gift, but I got lazy and forgot to ship it. Plus I did not get the birthday memo.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

The alphabet is that way because.....because....because... well, hell, I don't know. I'm old like you. Older even.

mireille said...

well, I'm late and I've got no answers, but I'm sending a virtual cupcake to the sweetest, most brutally honest cyberchick. Wish I lived next door ... you'd be great to hang out with. Happy Birthday, honey. xoxo.

kenju said...

Well, you are old and smart, so you can figure them out! LOL
Happy Birthday, TLP! and many more to come.

nw snowbird said...

Happy Birthday TLP!

I love, love, love your blog and look forward to reading your entries.

Here's wishing you the best year ever!

Peter said...

Happy belated Birthday Lucy.