Go fly a kite

Today after our morning walk, my walking-buddy Irene declared this morning to be a perfect kite-flying day. So we hot-footed it over to our cars and retrieved the kites we keep in our car trunks.

My kite is something like the one pictured above, but mine's better. Of course.

Heaven on a string! It was a perfect day for flying kites.

Why do people say, "Go fly a kite," when they mean "go away!" and stop bothering me? Do they want you to be struck by lightening?

Cliches like that oughta be avoided like the plague.
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Didcha read about the new over-the-counter diet drug Alli? Poo on that!

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How about the new invisible underwear? Hear 'bout it? It's called a "C" or sumtin' like that:

If a lady has to wear Depends, I'm thinkin' she should avoid the "C".
Doesn't look very comfortable anyway.

Course other things to avoid are easy to spot:
Like wearing a nose ring and bifocals.
Or combining spiked hair and bald spots.
Miniskirts and support hose don't look so good either.
Ankle bracelets and corn pads don't work for me.
Speedos and cellulite are not so hot.

A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar is a big no-no.
I think inline skates and a walker would be silly-looking too. Those old people. No fashion sense at all. Just like the young people. Only lots of young people missed out on having any sense.
Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge don't look good or make good sense, but you see young ladies every day with "muffin tops." Muffin top is the roll of fat that oozes over the top of your jeans. Oprah calls it "dunlap." That's when your fat done lap over the top of the pants.



Don't you just know that poor dog is embarrassed?


Looks bad on plumbers and on women.

Everyone should dress sharp. Like me:


If you need any advice on clothes and what to wear, just write to me.