Saturday, May 27, 2006

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

You've probably seen this before. So why are you here anyhoo? There's never nothin' of importance on this site!


Good : Your wife is pregnant.

Bad : It's triplets.

Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.


Good : Your wife's not talking to you

Bad : She wants a divorce.

Ugly : She's a lawyer.


Good: Your son is finally maturing.

Bad : He's involved with the women next door.

Ugly : So are you.


Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.

Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there.

Ugly : You're in them.


Good : Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.

Bad
: You can't find your birth control pills.

Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.


Good : Your husband understands fashion.

Bad : He's a cross-dresser.

Ugly : He looks better than you.


Good : You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.

Bad : She keeps interrupting.

Ugly : With corrections


Good : Your son is dating someone new.

Not so good : It's another man.

Kinda Ugly : He's your best friend.


Good : Your daughter got a new job.

Bad : As a hooker.

Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.

Way Ugly : She makes more money than you do.

24 comments:

AP3 said...

I'm first! Those are good ones, Mommy TLP!

still life said...

I'm second! They're all great but #3 is my laugh out loud!

Anonymous said...

Your site is so darling. My first visit. Cute outlook and clever.
Cheers.

Rachel said...

Oh you are back! Hoorah!!

Very funny stuff!!

The Lazy Iguana said...

Nice.

neva said...

no, i haven't read these before... and i'm sorry, but i happen to think there's a'plenty to see on your fine blog, missy!

hope you're having a great weekend! oh, and thanks for giving me a nice reason to laugh out loud! (these were hilarious!): D

Hale McKay said...

Those were great! Plus - I had never heard them before.

Saur♥Kraut said...

:D These were new to me, too!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

You are back! Hooray! I just took a chance and here yiu are...I haven't heard that before and foud it pretty funny! Thanks for the early A.M. giggles! And welcone back, my dear.

60 and counting said...

I'm here every day.

Even if your not.

NAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Minka said...

New to me as well...I laughed at teh first one...after a while you get the humour and you can almost come up with ugly: on your own :)

Fred said...

Count me in - they're all new to me.

Have a great weekend, TLP!

kenju said...

I love the last one. My daughter makes way more money than I do, but thank the Lord, it isn't by hooking!

Kyahgirl said...

I haven't seen this version of the good, bad and ugly before!

Klondike Kate said...

Thanks for the laughs! Glad to see you TLP!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

STOP knocking* what you do, Sis. This is terrific.

Go see DDDragon and let me know if I got your shoe right.

(*This is NOT a boring b**g.)

lime said...

classic, thanks for the giggles

Doug said...

TLP, I'm shocked. Shocked to find dirty jokes on this site!

Doug said...

And your feet are so ladylike, too!

Joel said...

Thanks for a great holiday laugh!! All new to me, by the way!

actonbell said...

Ha! Good ones:)

LZ Blogger said...

Had NOT seen these before. Very funny! ~ jb///

AP3 said...

RABBIT, RABBIT!

Anonymous said...

great....