Radio Question of the day:
According to a popular men's magazine, 52% of guys spend less than one minute doing what?
There are 2 kinds of people in the world. Those who divide the world into 2 kinds of people, and those who don't. I’m one of those two kinds. How ‘bout you?
What’s 40 feet long and smells like urine?
Line dancing at the nursing home.
Bad enough? How about what’s the difference between broccoli and boogers?
Kids won’t eat broccoli.
Why do blonde nurses carry red pens? Easy. So they can draw blood. Those blondes.
What do Mack the Knife, Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common?
So obvious: Their middle name.
Bad jokes, lord I love’m. Bad jokes, cain’t get enough of’em.
That’s why I listen to Prairie Home Companion on PBS. They did a special joke show this past weekend.
They told bad jokes like the ones above, and the ones below:
News Flash! Energizer Bunny charged with battery!
I hate to say this but your girl friend looks like a monkey. True, but she's the gorrilla my dreams.
You know why they named "Beano" "BEANO?"
Because "WINDEX" was already taken.
A man walks into the psychiatrist's office and says, "Doctor, I work down the street at the pickle processing plant and lately I've developed this almost uncontrollable urge to stick my penis in the pickle slicer."
The doctor says, "This is quite serious, we must get you into counseling immediately!"
Every day for two weeks, the two meet until the psychiatrist finally feels that his patient has mastered his compulsion to stick his penis in the pickle slicer.
A few days pass and the doctor receives a phone call from the pickle plant worker. The man is extremely upset and there are sounds of commotion in the background. "Doc, I'm so sorry. I really thought you’d cured me, but today here at work, that old feeling came back and I just couldn't control myself and, yes, I stuck my penis in the pickle slicer. This so terrible -- they fired me and I let you down."
"Don't worry about that," replies the doctor, "what happened with, er…, you know, the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, they fired her, too."
Answer to the radio question of the day:
Deciding what to wear.
Huh! About 75 percent of you guys look that way.