Thursday, June 03, 2010

Of butt-crack and other things

Actonbell Someone says that I am not posting often enough. That Acton someone. I mean, really, as if I have anything to say.

So I grabbed this meme from Thom's Monday Mayhem.

1. What animal in your opinion is the stupidest animal alive?

Humans. Next would be jelly fish ‘cause they don’t have a brain. But really, I’ll go with the Dodo. They sound really dumb.

2. What person in the news or spotlight makes you wonder how they got so far?

So many dumb bunnies out there, so little space. Paris Hilton comes to mind, since she seems to be missing hers.

3. If you could make up a new law and be in charge of arresting law breakers, what would that law be?

It would be illegal to show butt-crack. The law would require that anyone showing butt-crack would have to wear high-waisted jeans while picking up trash by the side of the road. It would be embarrassing for them to hide their butts in public that way.

4. Name something of the color blue that you despise.

A blue mood. Next on the list is blue jeans with butt-crack showing.

5. If you were on your way somewhere and were running late and witnessed an accident, what would you do?

Dial 911. Unless I really didn’t want to go where I was going –like the dentist or whatever. Then I would stop to help, and grab the excuse to miss the appointment. Like I could help anyway.

6. How tall is too tall and how short is too short in your opinion?

Jones is too tall, and all jockeys are too short. (I imagine some are too tight as well.)

7. What hair color and/eye color would you not want in someone you were planning on having children with?

Green hair and/or orange eyes. You just know those would be dominant traits.

8. What hour of the day has the worst drivers?

Happy hour. It also has the happiest drivers. It's a trade off.

9. Are you following the Stanley Cup Finals?

Stanley found his cup finally? I had not been informed that he lost it. I gather he plays a sport.

10. If you wanted to eat lunch at the zoo and all they served were animal parts, would you eat them?

You mean like leg of lamb? You betcha. Frog legs? Yum. I like the hippos too. I just can't eat a whole one by myself.

11. Would you give, and if so how much, money to a 25 year old man holding a sign at an intersection that asks for money?

The intersection asks for money? I would never give money to an intersection. I might give a buck or two to a good-looking 25 year-old man. What's he look like? No green hair or orange eyes I hope.

12. What do you do with emails that tell you to forward them on to 10 other people or something will happen to you?

Send them back to the person who sent them to me. Ten times. So far, so good. Of course there was that one time when a pelican sh*t on my head. But I figure that was just a coincidence. Then there was that snapping turtle that bit my big toe...I'm wondering about that one. I mean, how did that turtle get in my shoe? In the house? In the closet? Upstairs??? Maybe I should forward those messages. Any volunteers to receive those messages? You guys. I didn't think so.


Libby said...

oh, tlp, i've missed you SO much!! you did well with this post...i was lmao all over the place!!

Doug said...

Thank you, Actonbell! (Although there is no such thing as not posting enough.) I guess I could have figured out which daughter said you're not posting enough since my blogmama didn't raise no hypocrites.

My favorite answers were 7 and 8.

Nessa said...

When you finally do blog, you are funny as all get out.

I am butt crack blind now though.

I like your solution in #10. I'm gonna give it a whirl.

lime said...

can you do this more often? loved your stanley cup answer!

actonbell said...

Hahaha, bravo! You're so good at this, see we all came running:)

Logophile said...

Love your answers, and so relieved you don't mind orange hair and green eyes, but the other way 'round.
I'll split the leg o hippo with you. Whatever we can finish up can go home and make a stew,
mmmm hippo stew.

ilovepink1078 said...

Very funny photograps.

MAPEH homepage
Pink Go Green

Quack Birder said...

That TLP!

tsduff said...

You are genius with memes. Hey, throw me a hippo rib or two will ya?

Pat said...

I miss the butt cracks:)

Ariel the Thief said...

LOL TLP!!! You made a silly meme so funny!

Thank you indeed, Actonbell! ;)

Ariel the Thief said...

Oh and I so agree on the butt-crack law and the punishment. Especially the punishment. High-waisted jeans are horror. *shivers*

~Karen said...

Dial Nine One One?