Thursday, February 09, 2006
More please. Americans overeat, and by God, I'm an American!
Radio question of the day:
The average American home has 16 of these in their home. What is it?
Different kind of question: What's the difference between Groundhog's Day and President Bush's State of the Union Address?
Answer: One of them is a quaint but hollow ritual in which millions of Americans look to a small, pathetic creature of little intelligence and limited capacities to tell us what the future will bring. The other one involves a groundhog.
You saw that one coming. You guys. So quick.
The real question for a lot of us right now is what to get our sweetie for Valentine's Day.
I can tell you right now, that unless your honey is very thin or has very strong self-control, you shouldn't get candy for him or her.
I took my friend Peggy for her chemotherapy today. She had a little gift for me because of all the help she feels that I have given her. That Peggy. It was a box of truffles. Twelve big, beautiful, very delicious-looking truffles.
I could have eaten one while I was killing time waiting for her out in Hershey where she gets her treatments. But I didn't. I knew better than to get started on them. I'm not big on self-control when it comes to chocolate.
Instead I had a nice, sensible breakfast at a near-by restaurant. Then I went shopping and bought a lovely purse I don't need. Then I had my nails done. Never touched those chocolate truffles in spite of the fact that I could hear them calling my name from the trunk of the car.
When I got home, my husband Niks was still at the library doing his volunteer stint there. So I made myself a cup of coffee. One little truffle wasn't going to hurt me I figured. So I had one truffle, only they aren't at all little of course.
But there was still coffee in my cup. So I got up and got another truffle. Those truffles. Man! They are good! Actually I had made two cups of coffee. Niks shouldn't drink caffeine after one PM, so I decided to have that other cup of coffee.
Which called for another truffle. Well, okay. Two truffles.
Now see what you made me do! The truffle box looks mighty funny now. Four truffles missing! That isn't gonna do. Niks will fuss about that!
What to do, what to do???
Sigh. There's no way around it. I had to eat the entire batch. Gone. All gone.
Don't get your honey candy for Valentine's Day if her sweet tooth is as big as her damned head. Okay?
Answer to the Radio Question of the Day: Cook books. I'm so below average. Pitiful.