Friday, November 04, 2005

Stolen property

Radio question of the day: French fries are the most popular meal to this group of people?

All of this is stolen from someplace or other. Like I care.

· "Criminal lawyer" is a redundancy.
· "Did you miss me, dear?" "With every bullet so far." (Peg and Al Bundy)
· "Did you sleep good?" "No, I made a few mistakes." (Steven Wright)
· "Mister Worf, fire phasers at will!" *ZAP* "Hey, where did Riker go?"
· "More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed."
· "Mr. Johnson, you smell!" "No madam, you smell, I stink." (Sam Johnson)
· "Politically correct" is an oxymoron; nothing political is correct.
· "Supernatural" is a null word.
· "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
· ...some people without brains do an awful lot of talking. (Wizard of Oz)
· ...the purpose of diplomacy is to prolong the crisis. (Spock, "Star Trek")
· 1 Tidal Wave = 47.92 Microwaves
· 186,000 miles per second: it's not just a good idea, it's the law.
· 2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of two.
· 3 1/2" hard is better than 5 1/4" floppy.
· A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.
· A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
· A bird in the hand can be messy.
· A bleeding heart can be hell on the carpeting.
· A bug can be changed to a feature by documenting it.
· A bureaucrat is a politician with tenure.
· A computer's feces are indistinguishable from the food it produces.
· A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
· A crisis is when you can't say "Let's forget the whole thing."
· A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
· A friend in need is a pest indeed.
· A good place to start from is where you are.
· A hair in the head is worth two in the brush.
· A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
· A heart will never be practical until it can be unbreakable. (Wizard of Oz)
· A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
· A house divided is a duplex.
· A lie in time saves nine.
· A man's best friend is his dogma.
· A man's house is his hassle.
· A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

Answer to the question of the day: Death Row inmates.

Also small people in play pens. Wonder if there is a connection?


Anonymous said...

Please! Please! I beg you, stop blogging!

My fuckin' eyes are bleeding.

Mike said...

Well keep your fingers out of'em Kendra....
Amusing TLP...I was just glad to know ya'll women prefer 3 1/2 hards to 5 1/4 floppies. Whewwwww, load off my mind.

Tom & Icy said...

You might have borrowed them, but they were sure intertaining and funny. Keeps us young laughing like that. Thanks.

Libby said...

"Answer to the question of the day: Death Row inmates.

Also small people in play pens. Wonder if there is a connection?"
Yup...useful knowledge of real life?
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Doug said...

That was a perfect Friday post. I may steal a couple of these for my site. Don't tell anyone.

Anonymous said...

These are great!

And french fries are definitely MY favorites, but I'm neither on death row, nor in a play pen. I wonder shat that means?

Kristie said...

Very son loves fries (i try so hard not to give them to him too often, ya know, trying to be a good mom and all)...

Jamie Dawn said...

If I were facing the electric chair, I'd not be inclined to order anything fried. (tee-hee)

Love the list. Lots of goodies there.

S said...

Tan Lucy Pez is the best blog name I've ever heard! Just hearing that name makes me laugh, I dont even need to read the blog...just come here and laugh! Thanks!

lime said...

*giggles* fun list. love the trivia tidbits you add to your posts too.

Sar said...

TLP - Oh goodness, that was a great list. LOL!

(Hey Doug, I'm on to you! And Jamie Dawn, I'm tee hee'ing with you - nice one!)

kenju said...

Very funny, even if you did steal 'em. I do that all the time.

If I were on death row, I think I'd order mashed potatoes with gravy!

Lila said...

Those were fun!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

That is a great list, Lucy. I only heard of 6 or 7 of them. They're all good. Did you know: People who live in glass houses gather no moss. (?)

Lila said...

I just came back and re-read this post... Now I'm craving french fries. Thanks a lot! ;-P

Tom & Icy said...

Yes, ap3 is right! We also came back again to re-read our favorite blog and now I am craving... dog biscuits. Master Tom is craving the french fries.

Doug said...

Mmm, crispy french fries. Someone fetch me a guillotine!

SavtaDotty said...

Great list! My favorite: we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.

Peter said...

Great list TLP, "Did you sleep good?" "No, I made a few mistakes." too funny!!

Minka said...

I love the one about the hen and the egg. Strange what cracks people up! But your post probably had something for all of us!