I Remember Mama

My mother was a sweet and tiny thing. I was taller than she was when I was 10, and weighed more too. She was funny, without meaning to be. We still speak of her, the way she talked back to the TV, and how she sang along with the rock group, "Twisted Sister." She died several years ago, in her sleep, at the age of 91. Beautiful ending.

Today, I had breakfast with Lucinda and her husband Ekim. Very nice. Then at church I got to see daughter dddragon and her twins, kiddie A and kiddie B. Later daughter Aral called, and also Mron.

Perfectly beautiful day. Life is good. 

Just another day in paradise

Yesterday was taken up with church activities. First Niks and I went to our own Unitarian Church to pick up donated items to take to the halfway house for female offenders who are trying to start anew. Then we had lunch at a funky little off-the-beaten-path Mexican Restaurant. Food is pretty good, place is shabby.

In the afternoon we went to the grandtwins' confirmation in the Catholic Church. Whoa! It was almost two hours long---and I do mean LONG. When you are a Unitarian, these ceremonies really seem bizarre. Grown men in gowns and funny hats, kissing scrolls and such, blowing smoke (literally and I guess for me figuratively).

I don't mean to make fun of anyone's religion, but I have to wonder if people were just repeating stuff by rote, and not actually feeling the words at all. There were about 1,000 people there for about 160 kids being confirmed. The place was packed, and the parking was try-to-find-it. It was amazing. I can't complain about the number of people per kid, since there were nine people there for our two kids. (In addition to the family members there were "sponsors" for each child being confirmed.)

Luckily I was seated next to Lucinda, so I could talk to her some of the time. When we were on the 6th (yes, sixth!) page of the program, and we had been there for an hour and a half or longer, we noticed that we still had TWO INCHES of program left! Oy! Who knew how long two inches of program could last? They still had communion to do. But they really sped up the communion-I have never seen communion go that fast for 1,000 folks. We slipped out to go to the girls' room while they were singing, "Take and eat, take and eat...", ugh. Ghoulish. "Take and drink, take and drink, this is my blood..." Oh my. Communion is not my thing.

The girls were beautiful as usual. I feel for them. I know that they had to say, "I do," to things that they don"t actually believe. Sigh. 

Dang! I knew it! 

Here Kitty, kitty, kitty

Cat Diary Human Translator

'HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTY...'
Means humans want to take you somewhere, most likely the Vet. Avoid it.

'I HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU!'
Probably left over human food they were about to throw out.

'HERE'S SOME KITTY TREATS...'
Most likely another foil wrapped appeals-to-a-human Madison Avenue concoction.
Real kitty treats are usually opportunities when no one's paying attention and you get to lick the ice cream in the bowl, or jump on the table for that great piece of meat loaf.

'YOU ARE SOOOOOO CUTE!'
You are about to rub noses with a human. They can never get enough of our tiny fur-coated bodies and irresistible faces. Human noses are sooo warm. Ugh.

'YOU'RE IN MY CHAIR!' or 'YOU'RE TAKING UP TOO MUCH OF THE BED!'
You picked the right spot. You are right where you should be.

'DARN CAT HAIR!'
You left your hair out in the open where humans can see it and properly clean it up. Good job.

'STOP THAT!'
Means you were caught. Remember exactly where you were and get back to it -- once they leave the house.

'GET OUT OF HERE!'
Do not take this personally. It's usually the first thing they say after you wake them up by sticking your backside in their face.

SNAPPING OF FINGERS:
They want you to come over. If they want me, they'll come get me. Otherwise, get a dog.

'I LOVE YOU...'
Means just that. No translation needed here. And we love you, too.
 

Permanent Wave, as they used to say.

Forgot to mention that I got a perm. That's why I'm having a good hair afternoon. 

What makes you think anyone is looking at you?

I was having a bad hair day yesterday, so I called my regular salon and lucked into an appointment today with my usual stylist, Yoko. She's great. So now I'm a happy camper. Little things like good hair make a girl's day. With good shoes, good hair, and a nice dress, a woman can go places. 'Course, all I've got is the hair. And it's hair today, gone tomorrow after a night's sleep. Oh, well.  

Huh?

A friend of mine just informed me that in Massachusetts it is illegal to feed ducks between 5AM and midnight while humming. So I became curious as to what other laws I should know about when we travel in Maine, Massachusetts, and Vermont. I found that:
In Maine:
.After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.
·You may not step out of a plane in flight. (fair enough)
·Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack. (harsh)
In Massachusetts:
·At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
·Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
·An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
·Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts. (back seat is fine)
·It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
·A woman cannot be on top in sexual activities.
·It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost.
·It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits. (two exits in the city or the building?)
·It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color.
·It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building.
·It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road.
·No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. (guess the front is ok)
·Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
·Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder. (well, duh, this is New England.)
·Quakers and witches are banned.
·Bullets may not be used as currency.
·Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.
·It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
In Vermont:
· Whistling underwater is illegal. (not to mention hard to do)
· It is illegal to deny the existence of God.
· At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.
.Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
I'm not trying to pick on these states. Just trying to get the facts.  

Nothing but fun!

Is there anything more fun than a mammogram? I had one at 8 AM today. Good way to start the day. Wakes you right up. They found no problems, which is very nice.

Have you all had your yearly mammograms? They aren't fun, but in our family, they are absolutely necessary. So never, ever, skip getting a yearly boob job. 

Lazy Day

I just spent the laziest day of my life. I did manage to get up early and walk my two miles, but then I came home and just lazied around the rest of the day. Napped off and on. I mean I was a blob all day. And I'm not sorry. 

Time to clean my own house

The Church yard sale is over! Yea!
Now I need to clean my own house. I've been at the church all day, every day for a week, taking in stuff, cleaning it, sorting it, arranging it, pricing it, etc. I'm tired!
We made $4,500, which is very good. We didn't have any "big-ticket" items. Most things were priced at a dollar or less. I'm amazed that we were able to make so much. Happy about it. Hope I never help that much again.
I'm skipping church today. We're going to a birthday dinner tonight, and then it's rush off to church for our "COUCH" group. (we're devided into small groups of 8 or 10 to meet twice a month.)