Thursday, November 30, 2006

Okay. It's my birthday. Wanta make something outta it?

Well, I've had a few. Birthdays that is. I'm offically old.
Oh, wait. There's a chance that I was offically old five years ago. So, let me start over. My being old is old news.
By the way, since my last birthday 31,536,000 seconds have passed.
I hope you used them wisely. Just sayin'.

I think of it as a race. I'm ahead.

Eat my dust.

Enjoy the view.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Get out there and shop

Radio Question of the Day:

Businesses will lose about $17 Billion in productivity because their employees are doing this. What is it?

Well it’s here: The Christmas Shopping Season. I love Christmas decorations and Christmas music. Hate the shopping part. Shopping could be fun, if it weren’t for the other people. Those shoppers. Getting in my way, buying the last of something I wanted, sneezing, touching stuff, etc. They’re gross and they’re everywhere. But you have to get out and shop before all the good stuff is the ads tell me. The appeal of an item seems to be inversely proportional to its attainability.

But we all know that the hard work of shopping today pays off in the end. Laziness pays off now.

Before you go XMAS gathering, you should have a budget for Christmas spending of course. A budget is a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward. Everyone should have one.

Answer to the Radio Question of the Day:

Online Christmas shopping. Those slacker employees.

But wait! This Billion dollar question assumes that if the employees weren’t shopping online, that they would actually be working and producing something worthwhile. I’m doubtful. But I guess a little inaccuracy can save a lot of explanation. A single fact can spoil a good argument.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Happy Day

Happy Thanksgiving. Unless you're a native American. Then I guess maybe it didn't work out so well. Those Pilgrims.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Eat up

Radio Question of the Day:

Of all the food in the grocery store, this is the most profitable. What is it?


I spent well over an hour at the market yesterday. I had two carts full of stuff, and saved a little over $40 using coupons. I hate coupons, but they do save bucks.

I was so pleased with myself that I went shopping and bought my next birthday present which will be from my husband, and also the Christmas gift that he will be giving me. I haven't mentioned it yet 'cause I figure one of us should be surprised on my birthday and Christmas. Niks has given me some awful shit for presents. That Niks. He likes to buy me clothes. Gag me with a spoon. Choke me with a bent fork. We're talkin' some seriously fugly stuff.
Just sayin'.


Answer to the Radio Question of the Day:

Dog food.
What? Are dogs the other red meat?

People shouldn't think of dogs as food. Although I guess a puppy is a sort of baby food. Mmmmmm....have to think about it.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Nothing at all

Radio Question of the Day:

One in 50 of these are fake...but almost everyone has had at least one real one... What are they? That Disk Jockey!

I don't make these up folks. Honest.


Anwer to the Radio Question of the Day:

Doctors .
One in 50, huh? That's too many for comfort.

Friday, November 10, 2006

PG 21 post

If you are under 18 and a granddaughter of mine, just go away NOW. Don't read this. Anyway, it's your mother's fault. Or somebody else's fault. Not mine.

Radio Question of the Day:

59% of women recently surveyed say they are in pain because of their... what?

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"

Answer to the radio question of the day:
Their bra. Oh, yeah. That.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Ding Dong the witch is gone!

We have defeated the ugly Santorum in PA! Most excellent!!!!
He has said that if gay marriage is okay, then of course people can marry their dogs, etc.

And apparently, there's something to that:

Monday, November 06, 2006

Never too much Maxine

Radio Question of the Day:
37% of homeowners have one of these and don't realize it. What is it?

As Maxine would say, Get the hell out and vote! It's obvious that the smart people must have stayed home during the last several elections. So if you think you're so smart, VOTE, damnitall.

Answer to the Radio Question of the Day:

An unopened box from their last move. Those dummies.

That ain't so smart....maybe you shouldn't vote.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


Peter, I don't think we're in Kansas any more.

Radio Question of the Day:
94% of men say they can do this, but only 84% really can... What is it?

Is it really NOVEMBER already?

You all know that you have to say "Rabbit rabbit!" on the first of the month, or be doomed to bad luck for the rest of the month.
So open up and say it!

If you forget, you can say, "tibbar tibbar," or "oh, fart!" Whatever.

Answer to the Radio Question of the Day:

Change the oil in their car. Those men. I can think of a few more things too....

Happy Birthday Bonnie.