The Biggest Lies in the World
· The check's in the mail.
· I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.
· I thought I already gave you that money I owed you.
· I promise I'll pay you back next Friday.
· I've never been this drunk before.
· I'll never get this drunk again.
· I've checked this Email out, and it's really not a hoax.
· Now we're even.
· I'm fine.
· We found and fixed the last bug!
· The software will ship on schedule.
· It was as simple as that.
· It's all your fault!
· I love you.
· You don't need to use a condom; I'm on the Pill.
· I don't need a condom; I've had a vasectomy and tested negative for STDs.
· We'll have the repairs on your car done by noon.
· Operator, my calling card number is...
· You look like you haven't aged a day.
· No, I don't think that outfit makes you look fat.
· This is what it will cost to repair your car.
· If elected, I promise...
· You're going to love working here.
· I don't know what you're talking about.
· Nine out of ten people surveyed said...
· Please hold, and a customer service representative will be with you shortly.
· I'll only take a minute of your time.
· 100% compatible with your existing equipment.
· !!Make Money Fast!!
· Lose all the weight you want!
· I'm being totally unbiased.
· For your convenience...
· In order to serve you better...
· I'll call you.
· I never meant to mislead you.
· My wife is okay with me seeing other people; she just doesn't want to know about it.
· I'm not leaving you for him/her; I just need some space to think things through.
· This will only hurt a little.
· This will hurt me more than it does you.
· I'm doing this for your own good.
· It's only for a little while...
· I didn't mean any harm.
· Oh well, no harm done...
· It was an accident.
· I didn't do it.
· I don't know who did it.
· We are experiencing a peak level of call volume...
· No obligation!
· You may already be a winner!
· This product was made in an environmentally friendly manner.
· I know it's none of my business...
· I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but...
· This should be easy.
· To speak to a representative, press "9".
· It's nothing personal.
· This isn't partisan politics; it's for the good of the country.
· I'm not addicted; I can quit smoking any time I want.
· New and Improved!
· Trust me.
· That was special.
There's that word "fine" again. Rarely used in a truthful situation.
ReplyDeleteGood Post.... That was special. (tee-hee)
You'll find that we cats don't lie. If we don't like something, we'll let you know. You KNOW we do!
ReplyDeleteI expected you today. Thanks for comming. BTW, do you know my blog that covers art and crafts. It is here:
ReplyDeletewww.thattakedona.blogspot.com
Aw, Jamie Dawn stole my thunder.
ReplyDeleteShirazi, sorry I left that one out. I couldn't remember the URL.
The latest Lie! That picture on Soapy's blog. I have enlarged it to show who it REALLY is!
ReplyDeleteI am such a good boy, I only use one of these: "I didn't do it."
ReplyDeleteSee, I know I didn't do it because I don't do ANYTHING.
J.D.: yeah, fine whatever.
ReplyDeleteChatCat: Yep. You never said you loved me.
Shirazi: No! I missed that.
Mike: Somehow, I just knew that.
Doug: You sleep too late.
Wooo Devil: I'll be right over.
Hoss: I'm not buyin' that. You've been married 5 times. You've got to have used half of these lines.
Acton Bell: You can tell me anything. I can keep a secret.
Wow, TLP, that's a mighty pretty comprehensive list, good job. I had my in-laws staying here over the weekend, so I have these additions to offer:
ReplyDeleteNo, I don't mind if you watch Fox News and The O'Rielly Factor in my house (*turning away to hide grimace*).
--followed by--
Boy I'm really tired, think I'll turn in early and call it a night (*grabbing the laptop on the way upstairs*).
:)
ReplyDeleteI think the biggest lie still is:
"Waiter, I´d like to pay now!"
lol, Sar, I've used similar lines, too!
ReplyDeleteThanks, TLP. That was special.
ReplyDeleteOh, a couple of these really push my buttons!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat list. I might have used a few of those lines.
ReplyDeleteSome more often than others. I will leave the details as to which lines a mystery.
Love your humor.
ReplyDeleteHow about, "the price of gas will go down." or
Our country is better off today than it was 5 years ago.
Here is the URL of Thatta Kedona:
ReplyDeletewww.thattakedona.blogspot.com
your assessment is too true!
ReplyDeleteGreat List!! And, who among us hasn't heard EVERY SINGLE ONE time & time again??
ReplyDeleteBoUnCeS!! LibbY!
Great list. I'm hooing most of these were not from experience.
ReplyDeleteI've heard most of them at least once in my life. :-(
ReplyDelete